Sheldon: Excuse me. I'm recovering from a recent breakup, and I'm told asking out another woman might make me feel better.
And as Ash Ketchum said to Pikachu, "I choose you."
Woman: What?
Sheldon: It's a Pokemon reference.
Woman: I don't know what that means.
Sheldon: Well, we gave it a shot.

Sheldon: How about you?
Older Woman: I'm married, and I'm her grandmother.
Sheldon: Ah, what might have been.

Sheldon: And you, give my regards to Barnum and Bailey.

Leonard: I'm surprised you wanted to go to a sports bar, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Look at this blister. Like it or not, we're athletes now.

Sheldon: Besides, a bar is where I belong. I'm having female problems.
Leonard: If you're cranky and retaining water, I have a theory.

Howard: Sheldon, instead of focusing on Amy dating other guys, maybe you should start thinking about dating another girl.
Sheldon: That's ridiculous.
Raj: Why? You never thought you'd end up in a relationship, and then you met Amy. Maybe there's someone else out there for you.
Sheldon: True, but Penny's married, and so is Bernadette. And your girlfriend has red hair and white skin, which really rubs up against my clown phobia.

Leonard: Maybe you should consider women who aren't in serious relationships with your closest friends?
Sheldon: There's that prostate doctor, but I'm still mad at her.

Sheldon: Oh, there's a woman. I'll make her my girlfriend.
Raj: Whoa, whoa. Walking up to a strange woman in a bar usually doesn't work.
Sheldon: You're forgetting something. Ladies love jocks.
Raj: How many sips of that beer did he have?
Leonard: Three.
Howard: Oh, boy.

Stuart: All right, I'm not saying it's true, but let's consider for a moment that possibly I'm the problem.
Penny: Yeah.
Bernadette: You are.
Amy: You can say it.

Stuart: I mean, what can I do? I get so nervous around women.
Penny: Well, you're talking to us now. I mean, you don't seem nervous.
Stuart: Well, that's 'cause I'm doing that trick where you imagine the audience is naked. By the way, thumbs up, ladies.
Amy: Do you not hear how creepy that sounds?
Stuart: It was a joke.
Bernadette: Was it?
Stuart: No, I'm still doing it.

Penny: Okay, don't be offended, but what went wrong with you?
Stuart: I guess I assumed at this point in my life, I would be married or in a relationship, or even have a pet that didn't run away or kill itself.
Bernadette: That really happened?
Stuart: I mean, I can't say for sure, but I swear that rabbit looked me right in the eye before it hopped in front of that car.

Amy: Stuart, believe it or not, I understand. You know, before I met Sheldon, I was alone for a really long time. I was so desperate for people to like me, when I met these guys, it took everything in my power to hide my insecurity.
Stuart: Okay, we're all feeling it. Yes, I'll go out with you.

Raj: My name is Little Orphan Annie. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Howard: My name is Darth Vader. I am your father. Prepare to die.

Barry Kripke: What's going on with Amy?
Sheldon: Not that it's any of your business, but she broke up with me.
Barry Kripke: Really? Good to know.
Sheldon: "Good to know"? What's that supposed to mean?
Leonard: Oh, I hate to say it, but it sounds like he's interested in her.
Sheldon: Well, that's unacceptable.
Leonard: Oh, buddy, I get that you don't like it. But it's not really up to you.
Sheldon: Yeah, but he's dumb, and his face is dumb.

Leonard: Look, even if it's not him, Amy's probably going to date someone at some point.
Sheldon: You really think so?
Leonard: Of course. She deserves to be happy.
Sheldon: How dare you!