Leonard: Listen, I should warn you that maybe asking Amy out isn't a good idea.
Sheldon: Barry, a word?
Leonard: And now the crazy version of what I just said.
Sheldon: If you intend to pursue Amy, you leave me with no choice but to put a stop to it.
Barry Kripke: And how are you gonna do that?
Sheldon: By challenging you to a duel.
Barry Kripke: You've had one lesson. I'll destroy you.
Sheldon: That is why the duel will take place at high noon, three years from today. If you're worth your salt as an instructor, I should be ready by then.
Yeah, and be warned. I'm going to touch you all over.
Leonard: Wow, that was crazier than I thought.

Raj: Look at us! We're like the Rockettes!

Sheldon: En garde, Leonard. Prepare yourself for a rigorous touching.

Howard: My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Raj: My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Howard: I thought you were Puss in Boots.
Raj: Oh, yeah, right. Sorry.
My name is Puss in Boots. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Sheldon: I'm looking forward to him teaching us glove-slapping.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: You know, when my honor is insulted, and I need to challenge someone to a duel by slapping them across the face with my glove.
Leonard: When was your honor insulted?
Sheldon: My last physical.
Leonard: Again, that doctor didn't insult your honor. Just checked your prostate.

Howard: When you're in a public restroom, which foot do you flush the toilet with?
Sheldon: Right. Always right.
Howard: He's a righty.

Sheldon: Excuse me, Barry?
Barry Kripke: Yes?
Sheldon: When can I stab one of my friends?
Barry Kripke: In fencing, we don't call it a stab. We call it a touch.
Sheldon: Uh, yes, I'm aware. But if I say I want to touch one of my friends, I'll get called into Human Resources.

Amy: Have you thought about advertising directly to females?
Stuart: Hmm, okay. Well, all right. What if I put up a sign in the window that said, "Women, come in. Don't be afraid."?

Penny: Uh, have you read the online reviews for this place?
Stuart: Eh, the Internet's so negative. I try to avoid it.
Penny: All right. Well, Heather H. says, "The owner stared at me the whole time and didn't blink once."
Kelly M. says, "The creepy guy who runs it asked me out, then called himself stupid before I could say no."
Jessica K. says, "I told the weird owner that I liked his shirt. He took it off and gave it to me."
Stuart: See? Negative.

Bernadette: So how can we help?
Stuart: Well, I know more women are buying comics than ever, but for some reason, I can't get 'em in here.
Penny: All right. Well, what have you tried so far?
Stuart: Uh, I've been stocking more female-oriented titles. In the bathroom, I folded the end of the toilet paper into a triangle. And, uh, you are now sitting in the official breastfeeding area.

Raj: I feel cool. Like Puss in Boots.
Leonard: I always wanted to be a swashbuckler when I was a kid.
Sheldon: Technically, swashbuckler is a combination of two terms. Swash referring to the sound of the sword. Swash. And then buckler, meaning a small shield, which you don't have.
Raj: We can still be swashers.
Howard: Hmm, well said, Puss.

Barry Kripke: Gentlemen, welcome to the fencing club. Before we start, I just want to warn you, fencing isn't a joke. I hope you're not here because you think it's going to be like Star Wars.
Leonard: That's not why we're here.
Raj: Yeah, I'm here because I think it's gonna be like Game of Thrones.
Howard: And maybe a little Princess Bride.
Raj: Ooh, ooh! I forgot about Princess Bride! That's my answer!

Barry Kripke: Well, sorry to disappoint you, but fencing is a serious sport. If you're not willing to put in the effort, you might as well just leave now.
Sheldon: We're not afraid of physical activity.
Howard: Yeah, I already ran 18 miles today.

Leonard: Look at all these activities the university has. Rock climbing club, archery, flag football.
Sheldon: Had me at flag, lost me at football.