Raj: Dude, if we do this, we're gonna need a cool band name.
Howard: You know, I've actually had one I've been sitting on for years.
Raj: Really?
Howard: It was for this power trio I tried to put together in junior high, but I was short two friends.
Raj: What is it?
Howard: Footprints on the Moon.
Raj: I just got chills.
Howard: So did I.
Stuart: Me, too. But I might have Lyme Disease.

Sheldon: Just a few more signatures, and we'll be finished. Initial here to acknowledge that you've returned your key. Okay. As my future neighbor, I'd like you to have a key. Initial here to acknowledge you received it.

Penny: I'm proud of you. You're taking this really well.
Sheldon: Well, it's not like I'm never going to see you two again. Which brings us to article 23 subsection C. Please check here to reserve your spot at the ten year roommate reunion.
Leonard: Do I really have to do that now?
Sheldon: No, but if you want chicken and get stuck with the fish, that's on you.

Sheldon: Oh, and lastly, please initial here to confirm that ownership of the living room couch is hereby transferred to me in perpetuity all throughout the universe and all alternate universes except for those universes where owning a couch is forbidden by the hive queen. In which case, all glory to the hive queen.

Sheldon: All right, now all that's left is for us to sign and date the document, and we will officially no longer be roommates.
Penny: What's the matter?
Leonard: It's harder than I thought.
Sheldon: Let me help you. L-E-O-N-
Leonard: That helped!

Raj: Okay, so it's a, it's a David and Goliath story. It's about man against God. It's called "Hammer and Whip: The Untold Story of Thor vs. Indiana Jones."
Howard: Thor vs. Indiana Jones? You just blew my filking mind.

Raj: Okay, I don't have it all worked out yet, but I was thinking something like:
"Oh, Indy. Oh, Indy. The skies are so windy. Is that a flying man with a killer bod? Wait That's no man, it's a Norse god."

Howard: "Thunder clapped as Thor raised his mighty hammer. Indy rapped, 'That's one bad mamma-jamma.'
Raj: That-that is so good!
Howard: Right? Mamma-jamma just came to me.

Raj: Okay, and here's the hook. "Thor and Dr. Jones. Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightning. The other plays with bones."

Raj: Hey, remember The Ark of the Covenant?
Howard: Yeah?
Raj: That's how much we're gonna melt people's faces off.

Sheldon: I appreciate your interest in the apartment. I just need to ask you a few standard questions.
Applicant: Sure.
Sheldon: It says here you're a chemist. Which element on the periodic table do you feel is too big for its britches?
Applicant: Is that supposed to be a joke?
Sheldon: Looks like argon's not the only one with an attitude problem.

Sheldon: In general, would you say that you smell better, worse or the same as you do right now?

Sheldon: I was going to ask you what is the best fruit, but then I realized what I want to ask you is, "Why is there a Band-Aid on your forearm?" But then I realized what I really want to ask you is, "Can you just go?"

Sheldon: You're healthy. You have a job in the sciences. I've got to say, if this credit report comes back good, you're the frontrunner.
Amy: (via video chat) I'm not gonna be your roommate, Sheldon.
Sheldon: But I met with 11 people, and they all walked out. And that Hollywood phony Chris Pratt never tweeted me back.

Sheldon: What happened to me, Amy? Years ago I was completely disengaged from my feelings. I'd say it was a happier time, but I was disengaged from my feelings, so who can tell?