Howard: Okay, I get it. And it's sweet that you're worried about me, but I can take care of myself.
Bernadette: I'm not worried about you. I'm worried about me. I don't want to go through this pregnancy listening to you complain about Sheldon driving you crazy more than you already do.
Howard: Oh, here we go with the ironclad logic again.

Raj: So, uh so what's up?
Claire: Well, last time we talked, I had just gotten back together with my boyfriend, and I wanted to let you know that things didn't work out.
Raj: Really? I'm sorry, I swear I know other words.

Claire: So if you were still interested-
Raj: Yes! Indeed! Absolutely! Indubitably! I'm not even sure what the last one means, but it's another word, and I know it.

Raj: So, uh, when do you want to meet up?
Claire: Uh, I'm almost off work. What are you doing now? Right now, well- Well, actually, tto be completely honest, I'm stopping by to see my ex-girlfriend because she's having a tough time. But it's not like we're getting back together or anything.
Claire: Let me guess, the worst part about breaking up is that she doesn't have her best friend to talk to anymore?
Raj: That's exactly what she said! How do you know that?
Claire: I'm a girl. It's, like, page one out of the playbook.
Raj: Any chance you could send me a PDF of that playbook?

Howard: But, um, we were talking, and I'm a little concerned about the three of us forming a partnership.
Sheldon: Are you suggesting a limited liability corporation? Cause I did not L-L-"see" that coming.

Penny: What if Sheldon had no choice but to be respectful?
Leonard: Is there a switch on the back of his neck we don't know about?

Penny: No, what I'm saying is you could add a clause to the contract that he can't make fun of Howard.
Bernadette: How would you enforce it?
Sheldon: Oh, please. Any contract I sign is enforced by my own personal code of ethics.
Amy: And his obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Sheldon: Yeah, that, too. And scoot over. Part of your shadow's on my spot.

Sheldon: The revisions I made start on page four.
Penny: Wow. That is a lot of "whereupons".
Amy: You should see the Valentine's Day card he gave me.

Howard: "Article three: As it pertains to this project, Dr. Sheldon Cooper promises to abstain from all insulting or disrespectful language directed toward Howard Wolowitz, including but not limited to: mockery of engineering, his height, his hair, his wardrobe, and his insane belief that the Ghost Rider movie was, quote, 'not that bad'."

Penny: Wait, wait, wait. What are these changes on page six?
Amy: Sheldon, what did you do?
Howard: I should've known.
Bernadette: "25% of profits due to Sheldon Cooper will be allocated to a scholarship fund for the firstborn child of Howard and Bernadette Wolowitz." Sheldon, that's so nice.
Leonard: That beats the onesie I was gonna get them from Baby Gap.

Howard: That's very generous, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Oh, I've always valued education over money. And the very fact that you needed a written guarantee of respect made me realize how dismissive I've been of your contributions.
Howard: I appreciate that.
Sheldon: And I just hope that this scholarship can rescue your child from the sub-par education and menial life of an engineer.
Amy: Sheldon!
Sheldon: What? I didn't sign it yet.

Amy: Look, I'm sorry for your loss, but I think I have something that might make you feel better. I got you a new computer.
Sheldon: How could you do that?
Amy: Do what?
Sheldon: Choosing a new laptop is an incredibly personal ritual. You have taken away weeks of agonizing thought, tedious research, sleepless nights filled with indecision. Haven't I lost enough today?

Leonard: After you wrap the body in reflective tape, the ends get Teflon tape so we can get a tight seal.
Penny: Like this?
Leonard: Yeah, perfect.
Penny: Oh.
Leonard: And it helps to have small, delicate fingers. So don't be discouraged if you can't do it as fast as me and Howard.

Howard: I don't know if we have enough solder to finish these circuit boards.
Leonard: We had a full spool yesterday.
Howard: What can I say, I play hard, I solder even harder.

Bernadette: Sometimes he solders at home with his shirt off. It's like a beer commercial.