Leonard: Hey, how'd it go?
Sheldon: It went well. Yeah, I've learned that if you never say you're sorry, the times you do really puts them on their heels. Uh, Stuart, I relieve you of your line duties.

Sheldon: Now, let's follow in that brave woman's footsteps, and stand up for ourselves. And, and I realize that she stood up by remaining seated, but now is not the time to enjoy the irony of that. Now, I ask you again. Who here takes issue with this person?
Woman: Why should we listen to you? You cut the line yourself.
Sheldon: I most certainly did not.
Woman: I saw you.
Guy: If you're feeling dizzy, it's because the tables have turned.
Sheldon: Excuse me, I paid someone to wait in line for me, and then when I arrived, he left, so what you saw, my good woman, was swapsies, not cutsies.

Penny: You really want me to pick up your mother all by myself?
Leonard: Hmm, I just feel like it would be a good chance for you to bond.
Penny: Or a way for you to avoid her?
Leonard: I don't know what he's putting on those cards, but you are smarter than ever.

Penny: Wow. Okay. Well, um, how about this? Maybe while you're still in town, Leonard and I could have another small ceremony. You know, if you're interested.
Beverly: I would find that perfectly acceptable.
Penny: She would find it perfectly acceptable. You guys saw it. We bonded!

Sheldon: Did you see that? He just cut the line.
Leonard: He's just joining his friends; it's fine.
Sheldon: No, it's not fine. It is a breach of line etiquette.
Howard: We're near the front of the line. We'll get in either way.
Sheldon: What if every person in front of us let someone cut?
Leonard: We'd still get in.
Sheldon: What if each of those people let someone cut?
Leonard: Still get in.
Sheldon: But then each of those people let someone cut?
Leonard: We'd still get in, but first I'd hit you over the head with his stick chair.

Amy: I'm sorry, I've been going on and on.
Beverly: Oh, it's all right, dear. Sheldon has a brilliant and complicated mind. It's understandable that being in a relationship with him could be trying.
Amy: I called him babe once. He asked me to get a drug test.

Amy: Hey, Penny, isn't that your old boyfriend Zack?
Penny: Oh, yeah.
Amy: Are you gonna say hi to him?
Penny: Um, I don't know.
Raj: Hey, while you decide, who was better in bed, big hot Zack or wheezy little Leonard? Neener-neener.

Amy: So, Claire, we've heard so many wonderful things about you.
Claire: Really? Like what?
Amy: Uh, mostly Penny's heard them.

Bernadette: I brought sparkling cider.
Sheldon: Oh, the bubbles tickle my nose. I'll just open this now so it can get nice and flat before we drink it.

Sheldon: I am going to record this for posterity.
Leonard: All right, here goes nothing.
Sheldon: Here goes nothing? This is the initial test of our prototype. Can we give it a little more gravitas?
Leonard: Fine. Preliminary trial of the infinite persistence gyroscopic navigational system, phase one commencing.
Sheldon: Eh, maybe it's your voice. I'm gonna see if I can get James Earl Jones to do it in post.

Amy: Well, I'm going. You couldn't stop me from getting a massage at the mall, and you're not stopping me now.
Sheldon: I shouldn't have to see my girlfriend get groped in public by another man.
Amy: And I shouldn't have to see my boyfriend riding on a train for children around the mall.
Penny: The little choo-choo for toddlers?
Amy: And now you know why I needed the massage.

Amy: Well, it sounds like a nice night. We should go.
Sheldon: Wine again? Yeah, no, thank you. I like my grapes the old-fashioned way, in a juice box.

Sheldon: H-O gauge trains are 1/87th scale. N gauge are 1/160th scale. And that brings us to Z gauge, at a - you could easily swallow it, dont ask how I know - 1 to 220.
Bernadette: I'm sorry, I have to ask.
Sheldon: When I was five, I ingested a Z gauge locomotive. I spent the next three days saying, "I think I can pass it, I think I can pass it, I think I can pass it."

Bernadette: Wow, this night turned out to be so much more fun than I thought.
Sheldon: Oh, the fun doesn't stop. You're still going home with a goodie bag full of toast.

Raj: So, uh, what are you guys talking about?
Claire: Your friends were just telling me about all the other girls you're dating.
Raj: Why would you do that? I specifically asked you not to do that.
Penny: We didn't.
Amy: You just did.
Zack: Wow. Maybe none of you guys are smart.