Penny: Well, I told her to be true to herself and do what makes her happy.
Sheldon: Do what makes her happy? She plays the harp and her car is paid for. How much happier can she be?

Sheldon: Would you mind opening the door and then angrily slamming it behind me?
Penny: Sure.
Sheldon: Thank you.
And slam it hard, because I am pretty steamed.

Bernadette: What happened? They just got married.
Howard: I don't know. It's a mess. They had a huge fight in Vegas.
Bernadette: You think they'll break up?
Howard: I don't know. Sounds pretty bad. Penny's back in her apartment all by herself.
Stuart: Really?

Sheldon: Would you like to hear another reason why men are better than women?
Leonard: Sure. Let's make it an even hundred.

Sheldon: You would never make me kiss you, then say I love you, then break up with me.
Leonard: I wouldn't.
Sheldon: You know why? Because you're a man. The champagne of genders.
Leonard: I may be a man, but I think I'm the one that screwed up on this one.
Sheldon: And you admit it. Like a man. All your hear woman say is "I'll have a salad", "Where's my lip gloss?", "I think this element should be called radium."
That last one was Madame Curie.
Leonard: I figured that out.
Sheldon: You know what? She was sort of an honorary man. She had a penis made of science.

Leonard: I can't believe I'm spending my wedding night with you.
Sheldon: Really? I never imagined it any other way.