Penny: I like hanging out with you guys, but I'm not gonna apologize for something I didn't do.
Leonard: Well, actually, technically, you did do it.
Penny: That's strike one, Leonard.

Sheldon: You have to drive me to work.
Penny: Yeah, I really don't think I do.
Sheldon: But I don't drive and I can't take the bus.
Penny: Alright, honey, you'll be fine as long as you don't do that bungee chord thing.

Penny: Well we're in Vegas. I want to go downstairs, get a bucket of margaritas, dance until I vomit all over a roulette wheel and watch it go everywhere.
Amy: What if we don't want to vomit?
Penny: Oh, you will. That's why they give you the bucket.

Penny: I have to go to the bathroom.
Sheldon: Can't you hold it?
Penny: Not for 2600 years!

Penny: You know, maybe if fashion magazines had female scientists in them, I would have become a theoretical physicist. Stop smirking at each other!

Penny: Well, a relationship is more complicated than a french fry.
Sheldon: Not according to the work of Berscheid, Snyder & Omoto.
Penny: Oh, what did those rascals do now?

Penny: (About the cards) I got a question.
Leonard: Warlord beats troll, troll beats elf, elf beats water sprite, and basically everything beats Enchanted Bunny.
Howard: Unless you have the carrot of power.
Penny: Okay, I've got another question. When does this get fun?

Penny: Oh, that's Leonard. He said they're about to cross the border.
Bernadette: I hope the boys don't get too crazy in Mexico.
Penny: Oh, yeah, right. Lock up your daughters or Sheldon might lecture them about the North American Free Trade Agreement.
Amy: Boy, that was a long night for me.

Amy: Well, this is weird.
Penny: What?
Amy: Barry Kripke just asked me out.
Bernadette: Oh, look at you. Two guys in one day!
Penny: I told you things would change if you plucked your eyebrows!

Sheldon: Where is this going? Are you two ever getting married? And if so, where will we all live? Have you thought about that?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Penny?
Penny: Okay, wait, what are we doing?
Leonard: For some reason we're planning a future where we both live with Sheldon for ever.

Penny: But if you dont mind me asking, uh, the potato clock, how does it work? Is it a trick clock or a trick potato?

Penny: Did you tell her her about your favorite asthma inhaler?

Penny: (On the phone) No, Dad. I don't think they cut me out of the show because I was too pretty. No, I don't need you to come out and kick Mark Harmon's ass.

Penny: I got a new bikini. The drinks at the pool will be brought to you by these.

Raj: I love how they put a waterfall at centerfield. It really ties the whole stadium together.
Penny: Look at you talking sports.