Penny: Uh, no. No, baby. I'm not your mama. Your mama's the nice lady we're gonna go see right now so I can rub this in her face. Do you hear that, suckers? She called me Mama!

Sheldon: How dare you.
Amy: Oh, you heard me. Your experimental bona fides are laughable.
Sheldon: Whoa, whoa! Now you're making fun of my bona fides?
Amy: Can't make fun of something that's a null set.
Penny: I feel like I should say "damn!"
Leonard: Do it.
Penny: Damn!

Penny: I meant more like a little brother.
Sheldon: Oh. Well, I suppose I do think of you like a sister. And sometimes a mother.
Penny: It's getting creepy again.

Sheldon: Penny, this is serious. My reputation is on the line. What are people gonna think when they see us collaborating?
Penny: I don't know. Poor Bert?

Penny: What's the word, hummingbird?

Penny: Oh, he's cute!
Bernadette: Doesn't a teardrop tattoo mean he murdered someone?
Penny: And he's sad about it.

Penny: You know, whenever I find a top I like, I always go back and get a second one in a different color. Which I hope is not the case with your baby.

Penny: Uh-oh, somebody's still pouting.
Leonard: Leave me alone.
Penny: If it's because you lost a stick, I know where it went.

Leonard: Hey, can you think of a reason why I shouldn't invite Amy to come with me?
Penny: No.
Leonard: Come on, you didn't even try.

Penny: Oh, uh, hey, Beverly, you called my phone, not Leonard's.
Beverly Hofstadter: Actually, I was hoping to speak with you. Is this a good time?
Penny: Uh, that depends. What time is it where you are?
Beverly Hofstadter: Uh, just after 5:00.
Penny: (clears throat, and swaps fruit juice for a bottle of wine) Yeah, that counts.

Penny: Amy, it's Penny. Hey. Just a little heads up, Leonard bought a dining room table. Yeah, Sheldon's breaking up with you.

Sheldon: I suppose there's no choice but to face the crying, angry accusations, and the high pitch wails of despair.
Penny: Yeah and who knows how Amy will react.

Penny: That would really piss me off if I didn't have a buzz going on.

Leonard: This is exciting. This is really exciting. I have to go find Sheldon.
Penny: Okay, well, if you find him use the kitchen island. That coffee table will not support both of you.

Amy: Ooh, there's a cover band in the lounge.
Penny: Eh, no.
Amy: But they play Barry Manilow.
Penny: No.
Amy: But they're called Fairly Manilow.
Penny: Oh, okay.
Amy: Great!
Penny: No!