Raj Koothrappali Quotes Page 24 of 70
Quote from the episode The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary
Raj: How come I wasn't part of this deal?
Sheldon: You had left the refreshment stand in prder to indulge in your customary preemptive pre-show urination.
Raj: So, that's how it works? I have a teeny bladder and I don't get a hot girlfriend.
Howard: Yeah, Raj, that's how it works.
Raj: Damn!
Quote from the episode The Monster Isolation
Lucy: I'm kind of broken.
Raj: That's great. I'm broken, too.
Lucy: Oh, no you're not.
Raj: Oh, I totally am. If it wasn't for this beer, I couldn't even talk to you right now. I'm a wreck. There are many things seriously wrong with me. And not quirks, either. Like diagnosable psychological problems. Maybe brain damage.
Lucy: Well how do I know you're not just saying that?
Raj: Go out with me on one date. I promise you, you'll see.
Quote from the episode The Maternal Conclusion
Bernadette: When does Anu come back from London?
Raj: Next week. But it's been good, you know? Really given me a chance to focus on myself.
Howard: How's that going?
Raj: I didn't like what I saw, got in my car, drove over here.
Quote from the episode The Egg Salad Equivalency
Raj: I feel like I've been called down to the principal's office. Although I wouldn't mind if Brown Sugar suspended me. From a sex swing. (Looking at his flask) This may have been a mistake.
Quote from the episode The Weekend Vortex
Raj: I plan on leveling up in the game, not my swimsuit size, thank you very much.
Quote from the episode The Occupation Recalibration
Raj: And does Sheldon know you're dating Sheldon?
Amy: (To Raj) I'm sorry, who are you dating?
Raj: Yeah, knock it off, Howard.
Quote from the episode The Beta Test Initiation
Raj: I can't believe I bought my soul mate at Glendale Galleria.
Quote from the episode The Vengeance Formulation
Raj: I was on the radio, once. I called in to Fever 104 FM New Dehli and was the fourth person to say the phrase that pays: Fever 104 (speaking Hindi).
*The guys stare at Raj*
Raj: That means "Fever 104: Home of the really good current music."
Raj: It's much catchier in Hindi.
Quote from the episode The Romance Resonance
Raj: As I'm sure you're aware the quickest way to a man's heart is through his -
Penny: Pants. But Leonard said sex doesn't count.
Raj: You poor thing. You have one arrow in your quiver and you just can't use it.
Quote from the episode The Maternal Congruence
Raj: You think your thoughts are pure gold, but let me tell you something they are pure caca.
Quote from the episode The Hook-Up Reverberation
Raj: Well, I would never leave you off my list. And not just because without you we're playing fast and loose with the word "list".
Quote from the episode The Itchy Brain Simulation
Raj: What is wrong with you, Penny? You ruined any chance I had of getting back with Lucy. Now she knows I'm a desperate mess instead of being pretty sure.
Raj: *Checks his phone* It's Lucy. She wants to meet for coffee. I LOVE YOU PENNY!
Quote from the episode The Misinterpretation Agitation
Howard: Still lives with his mom? Yikes, right?
Raj: Yeah, I'm not quite sure how to respond.
Quote from the episode The Bon Voyage Reaction
Raj: I'm unlovable.
Penny: It's just the booze talking.
Raj: I haven't had a drink since last night.
Penny: You're talking to me!
Raj: I am! Now I'm crying for a whole different reason.
Penny: Me too.
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