Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 138 of 262
Quote from the episode The Change Constant
Penny: You know, you go on and on about wanting things to stay the same, but you've changed a lot since I met you.
Sheldon: Oh, you are a mean drunk.
Quote from the episode The Stockholm Syndrome
Leonard: Are you kidding me? You just found out that a woman who has loved and cared for you for 12 years is pregnant, and all you can say is you're relieved that she's not gonna get you sick?
Sheldon: There's no need for a recap. I was there.
Quote from the episode The Tangerine Factor
Sheldon: (In Mandarin) Many oxen are in my bed! Many, many oxen!
*Chen flings his hands at Sheldon*
Sheldon: (Mandarin) Oy Vey.
Quote from the episode The Zarnecki Incursion
Sheldon: This act of aggression must be met with swift and cruel ferocity. It is time to cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.
Quote from the episode The Thanksgiving Decoupling
Sheldon: Now I know how the African slaves felt. Being dragged from their homes to labor under the yolk of the white man.
Amy: Are you honestly comparing Thanksgiving dinner at Wolowitz's mom's with one of the greatest tragedies in the history of mankind?
Sheldon: Yes.
Quote from the episode The Proton Transmogrification
Howard: Since we all agree Episode 1 isn't our favorite, why not just skip it this time?
Sheldon: Howard, I think you of all people should avoid espousing the principle that if something is not our favorite we should just get rid of it.
Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst
Sheldon: I didn't want to upset you. Howard made it very clear that my allegiance should be to male comrades before women who sell their bodies for money.
Leonard: Is it possible he said Bros before Hos?
Sheldon: Yes, but I rephrased it to avoid offending the hos.
Quote from the episode The Workplace Proximity
Sheldon: You know, riding with Leonard has got a little tedious lately. The only car game he ever wants to play is the quiet game. And he's terrible at it, I always win.
Quote from the episode The Workplace Proximity
Sheldon: If it makes you feel any better, Amy and I are fine. I mean really good.
Quote from the episode The Itchy Brain Simulation
Sheldon: Gentlemen, please. Leonard is trying to walk a mile in my metaphorical shoes. He can't walk in my actual shoes, he has the feet of a toddler.
Quote from the episode The Table Polarization
Sheldon: My spot on the couch has a great view of a window. Sometimes I can see space battles through it. It's called a TV.
Quote from the episode The Relationship Diremption
Penny: I get it. I know what it's like to put your heart and soul into something and get nothing out of it.
Sheldon: You mean your acting career?
Penny: No.
Sheldon: Your relationship with Leonard?
Penny: No.
Sheldon: Your failed attempt to go back to college?
Penny: No!
Quote from the episode The Proton Transmogrification
Sheldon: Oh, I'm not going to the funeral.
Amy: Why not?
Sheldon: All those people blowing their noses. You can't tell the sick from the sad.
Quote from the episode The Locomotion Interruption
Leonard: Sheldon, hang tight. Hey, do you want me to bring you anything?
Sheldon: Yes, please. A pair of pants, and my toothbrush, and my mail, and a really good come back for chicken legs. Because "I know you are, but what am I?" was met with stony silence.
Quote from the episode The Junior Professor Solution
Howard: And you love the sound of your own voice.
Sheldon: Well, of course I do. Listen to it. It's like an earful of melted caramel.
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