Leonard: Hope you're hungry.
Sheldon: Interesting. A friendly sentiment in this country, a cruel taunt in the Sudan.

Sheldon: I grew up in Texas. Football is ubiquitous in Texas. Pro football, college football, high school football, pee wee football - in fact, every form of football except the original, European football, which most Texans believe to be a commie plot.

Penny: Who's Adam West?
Sheldon: Who's Adam West!? Leonard, what do the two of you talk about after the coitus?

Sheldon: I'll have a diet Coke.
Penny: Can you please order a cocktail? I need to practice mixing drinks.
Sheldon: Fine. I'll have a virgin Cuba Libre.
Penny: That's rum and Coke, without the rum?
Sheldon: Yes, and would you make it diet?

Penny: Strap on a pair and go talk to Amy.
Sheldon: Strap on a pair of what? ...Skates?
Penny: Oh, you are so not the guy.

Leonard: Hang on, hang on. Are all those things equal to you?
Sheldon: Hmm, it never occurred to me to pick a favorite.
Leonard: Give it a go.
Sheldon: I can't answer that without collecting additional data.
Leonard: "Additional data", you dog!
Sheldon: I'm not sure how listening to other nine-fingered banjo players makes me a dog, but all right.

Stephen Hawking: What does Sheldon Cooper and a black hole have in common? They both suck.

Sheldon: If it's good enough for Kirk, Crunch, and Kangaroo it's good enough for me.

Sheldon: Please. We're facing a far more serious problem than stray arachnids.
Leonard: It's not so bad.
Sheldon: Not bad? It's horrible. You hear stories about this things, but you never think it'll happen to you.
Leonard:So they steamed your dumplings. Get over it.

Sheldon: The word is Polish. See, look.
Polish sausage. And the model of the solar system developed by Nicolaus Copernicus, a Polish astronomer. And then, finally, if that wasn't enough, which it should've been, this is Madame Curie killing herself by discovering radium, who, although she was a naturalized French citizen, was Polish by birth.
Penny: Excuse me, the word is polish. See? Small p.
Sheldon: Ah! So it is. I guess we both share blame on this one.

Sheldon: Well, my new friend's name was Eric, Amy's lips tasted like the brownie we had for dessert, and the banjo-playing conductor was missing a finger but made up for it with his can-do attitude.

Sheldon: I understand why you're upset. You're afraid that costume makes you look fat.

Sheldon: Given the reaction to my costume, this party is a scathing indictment of the American educational system.
Kurt: You're a zebra, right?
Sheldon: (to Leonard) Yet another child left behind.

Sheldon: What is the best number? By the way, there's only one correct answer.
Raj: 5,318,008?
Sheldon: Wrong. The best number is 73. [short silence] You're probably wondering why.
Leonard & Howard: No, no, we're good.
Sheldon: 73 is the 21st prime number, its mirror 37 is the 12th and its mirror 21 is the product of multiplying, hang on to your hats, 7 and 3. Did I lie?
Leonard: We get it. 73 is the Chuck Norris of numbers.
Sheldon: Chuck Norris wishes. In binary, 73 is a palindrome, 1001001, which backwards is 1001001, exactly the same. All Chuck Norris gets you backwards is Sirron Kcuhc.
Raj: Just for the record, when you enter 5,318,008 in a calculator, upside down it spells boobies.

Penny: Really? On top of everything, you're afraid of birds?
Sheldon: Its called ornithophobia and someday it will be recognized as a true disability, and the landlord will be required by law to put a giant net over the building. Which is unfortunate because I have a fear of nets.