Season 1 Quotes Page 25 of 36
Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Luminous Fish Effect
Howard: Forgive me for being so bold, but I now see where Sheldon gets his charming good looks.
Mary: Honey, that ain't gonna work, but you keep trying.
Quote from Howard in the episode The Pork Chop Indeterminacy
Howard: Destiny thy name is Anaheim!
Quote from Howard in the episode The Middle-Earth Paradigm
Wolowitz: Check out the sexy nurse. I believe it's time for me to turn my head and cough.
Quote from Howard in the episode The Jerusalem Duality
Howard: I know the type. Cheerleader, student council, goes out with the jocks, won't even look at anybody in the gifted program. If after 2 years of begging, she agrees to go out with you, it turns out to be a setup and you're in your mom's car with your pants off while the whole football team laughs at you. *sobbing*
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Grasshopper Experiment
Sheldon: Okay, I know you're texting about me and I'd really like you to stop.
Quote from Raj in the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis
Raj: Hello, sorry I'm late. But I was in the hallway, chatting up Penny.
Howard: Really? You? Rajesh Koothrapali, spoke to Penny?
Raj: Actually, I was less the chatter than the chattee.
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis
Leonard: Six two inch dowels.
Sheldon: Check.
Leonard: One package, Phillips head screws.
Sheldon: Check.
Penny: Guys, seriously, I grew up on a farm, okay. I rebuilt a tractor engine when I was like twelve. I think I can put together a cheap Swedish media center.
Leonard: No, please. We insist, it's the least we can do considering.
Sheldon: Considering what? How great this place looks?
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis
Penny: Well, uh, it looked pretty good in the store.
Leonard: It is an inefficient design. For example, Penny has a flat screen TV, which means all the space behind it is wasted.
Sheldon: We could put her stereo back there.
Leonard: And control it how?
Sheldon: Run an infra-red repeater, photocell here, emitter here, easy peasy.
Quote from Leonard in the episode The Hamburger Postulate
Leslie: I admire your fingering.
Leonard: Thank you.
Leslie: Maybe some time you can try that on my instrument.
Quote from Raj in the episode The Hamburger Postulate
Howard: Hang on, honey. Shiva and Ganesh? The Hindu Gods against the entire Union army?
Leonard: And Orcs!
Penny: I'll be back.
Raj: Excuse me, Ganesh is the remover of obstacles, and Shiva is the destroyer. When the smoke clears, Abraham Lincoln will be speaking Hindi and drinking mint juleps.
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Hamburger Postulate
Sheldon: Boy, you're wound awfully tight for a man who just had sexual intercourse.
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Middle-Earth Paradigm
Sheldon: You know, we were annihilated by our own incompetence and the inability of some people to follow the chain of command.
Leonard: Sheldon, let it go.
Sheldon: No, I want to talk about the fact that Wolowitz shot me in the back.
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Dumpling Paradox
Leonard: I don't think she's a whore.
Penny: Oh no, she's definitely a whore. She has no standards. ... Wait, where's Howard?
*Off screen:*
Wolowitz: Bonjour, mademoiselle. I understand you're new in town.
Sheldon: Oh, good God!
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization
Leonard: Okay, let me put it this way, I'm doing it.
Sheldon: You can't. I'm the lead author.
Leonard: Oh, come on. The only reason you're the lead author is because we went alphabetically.
Sheldon: I let you think we went alphabetically to spare you the humiliation of dealing with the fact that it was my idea. Not to put too fine a point on it, but I was throwing you a bone. You're welcome.
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization
Leonard: Excuse me, I designed the experiment that proved the hypothesis.
Sheldon: It doesn't need proving.
Leonard: So the entire scientific community is just supposed to take your word?
Sheldon: They're not supposed to, but they should.
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