Bernadette: Well, my boss said he hadn't decided yet, so I gently reminded him that he's an old rich white guy, and I'm a sweet little pregnant lady who's not afraid to cry in front of a jury.

Bernadette: Apple slices? What kind of lunatic goes to McDonald's and gets fruit?

Raj: What's the worst that could come of this meeting?
Howard: I don't know. They take the invention away, and I get nothing?
Raj: Okay, that's not so bad. You know what happened to the scientists that worked on the Manhattan Project? The government forced them to move to the desert. They had to live in secret, and when Oppenheimer objected to what they made him do, they destroyed his reputation.
Howard: What's the point of that story?
Raj: I just read a book about Oppenheimer, seemed like a chance to show off.

Sheldon: I knew we should've never mentioned us living together in the first place.
Amy: She was gonna find out eventually.
Sheldon: Disagree. We've known about evolution since 1859. She still believes in Noah and his amazing zoo boat.

Leonard: I would pull this car over and kick you out, but if Penny dumps me, you're all I got.

Stuart: I also love how you never use swear words.
Sheldon: You know, it turns out, you can hurt people just as well without 'em.

Althea: Now I see three of you. Do we know the father, or is this some Mamma Mia nonsense?

Howard: The kid with the two shirts screwed us again.

Sheldon: Amy is free. She had a harp lesson on Saturday, but it got canceled. Boy, when you take an interest in people, you really uncork a geyser of nonsense.

Penny: The new neighbors are weird.

Sheldon: Well, I think it's very nice that you're helping out our friend.
Leonard: I think it's nice that you're taking whatever medication Amy's clearly giving you.

Raj: Maybe there are other things we have in common. Come dinner-time, do you enjoy eating food?

Sheldon: Stuart, wait. I do know what it feels like to be left out.
Bert: I know how it feels, too.
Sheldon: All right, this is about me and him; you're not part of it.

Amy: He's been in there a long time. Should I go talk to him?
Mary Cooper: He's upset with me. I should be the one who talks to him. (stays seated and works on her knitting)
Amy: Are you going to?
Mary Cooper: Oh, heck no.

Penny: Do they know why the pipes burst?
Amy: They didn't say.
Leonard: Buildings that have a combination of copper and galvanized steel are susceptible to pinholes and corrosion caused by the mobility of ions in the water. Can't have your head shoved in a toilet as much as I did and not pick up a few things about plumbing.