Season 1 Quotes Page 35 of 36

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Quote from Penny in the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Leonard: Well, what are you going to do, Sheldon, give up?
Sheldon: Yes. That's what a rational person does when his entire life's work is invalidated by a post-pubescent Asian wunderkind. He ceases his fruitless efforts, he donates his body to scientific research, and he waits to die.
Penny: You know, I'm confused again. Is he waiting, or do we get to shoot him between the eyes?

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Howard: Sheldon.
Sheldon: Yes.
Howard: Go away.
Sheldon: Did Leonard tell you to say that?
Howard: No, I thought of it all by myself.
Sheldon: Huh. It can't be a coincidence. There must be some causal link I'm missing.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Raj: Go away!
Sheldon: Curiouser and curiouser.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Howard: (Entering the apartment) Is he here?
Leonard: If he were, I wouldn't be.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Leonard: He'll never be able to cope with the fact that some fifteen year-old kid is smarter and more accomplished than he is.
Raj: Well, what if something were to happen to this boy so he was no longer a threat to Sheldon?
Howard: Then our problem would be solved.
Leonard: Hang on, are we talking about murdering Dennis Kim? ... I'm not saying no.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Howard: The only thing we need to do is make this Kim kid lose his focus.
Leonard: That won't happen, he's not interested in anything but physics.
Howard: What about biology?
Leonard: What?
Howard: You know, biology? The one thing that can completely derail a world class mind.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Leonard: Howard, he's fifteen.
Howard: Yeah, so, when I was fifteen I met Denise Palmeri and my grade point average fell from a 5.0 to a 1.8.
Raj: She was sleeping with you?
Howard: No, I just wasted a lot of time thinking about what it would be like if she did.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Penny: (Opening her apartment door) Oh, hey guys, what's up?
Howard: We need a hot fifteen year-old Asian girl with a thing for smart guys.
Penny: What?
Leonard: Howard, that's racist. Any fifteen year-old girl will do the trick. (Penny slams the door.)
Raj: It's possible she may have misunderstood us.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Dr. Gablehauser: Why are all these young women here?
Leonard: It's take your daughter to work day.
Dr. Gablehauser:: Really? I was not aware of that.
Raj: Oh, yes. There was a very official email that was sent to everyone whose insurance files indicated they had daughters between the ages of 14 and 16.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Jerusalem Duality

Raj: Okay, uh, how about her?
Leonard: Sure. If he wants to spend a couple of years doing her homework while she drinks herself into a stupor with non-fat White Russians, while you're the one holding her head out of the toilet while she's puking and telling you she wishes more guys were like you, and they she gets into Cornell because you wrote her essay for her, and you drive up to visit her one weekend and she acts like she doesn't even know you.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Nerdvana Annihilation

Howard: A time machine from the movie The Time Machine?
Leonard: No, a time machine from Sophie's Choice.
Raj: Boy, Sophie could have used a time machine in that movie. Did you see it? It's rough.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Nerdvana Annihilation

Howard: It's actually a tremendous bargain, even with shipping it works out to less than four dollars a pound.
Raj: Cocktail shrimp are $12.50.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Nerdvana Annihilation

Sheldon: I don't know what you were worried about. I think it really works in the room.
Leonard: Yeah. It is by far the coolest thing I have ever owned.
Sheldon: The exact time machine that carried actor Rod Taylor from Victorian England into the post-apocalyptic future, which society had splintered into two factions: the sub-terranean Morlocks, who survived by feasting on the flesh of the gentle surface dwelling Eloy.
Howard: Talk about your chick magnets.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Nerdvana Annihilation

Sheldon: Gentlemen, I know we said we'd take turns, but I think youd agree that practicality dictates it remain here.
Howard: You can't just keep it here. What if I meet a girl and say, "you wanna come up and see my time machine, it's at my friends house," how lame is that?

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Nerdvana Annihilation

Sheldon: Alright, I think we're going to need some ground rules. In addition to the expected no shoes in the time machine and no eating in the time machine, I propose that we add pants must be worn at all times in the time machine.
Leonard: Seconded.
Howard: I was going to put down a towel.

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