Season 1 Quotes Page 4 of 36
Quote from Howard in the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis
Howard: Grab a napkin, homey, you just got served.
Leonard: That's fine, you win.
Howard: What's his problem?
Sheldon: His imaginary girlfriend broke up with him.
Howard: Been there!
Quote from Sheldon in the episode Pilot
Sheldon: Leonard, I don't think I can do this.
Leonard: What are you, kidding? You're a semi-pro.
Sheldon: No, we are committing genetic fraud. There's no guarantee that our sperm's going to generate high-IQ offspring. Think about that. I have a sister with the same basic DNA mix who hostesses at Fuddruckers.
Quote from Penny in the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis
Penny: And what kind of doctor removes shoes from asses?
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Luminous Fish Effect
Sheldon: I read an article about Japanese scientists who inserted DNA from luminous jelly fish into other animals; and I thought "Hey! Fish night-lights".
Leonard: Fish night-lights.
Sheldon: It's a billion dollar idea, ssh!
Quote from Howard in the episode The Nerdvana Annihilation
Penny: It is the things you love that make you who you are.
Wolowitz: I guess that makes me large breasts.
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary
Sheldon: I do feel obligated to point out to you that she did not reject you, you did not ask her out.
Leonard: You're right. I didn't ask her out. I should ask her out.
Sheldon: No! No that was not my point. My point was don't buy a cat.
Leonard: No, but you're right, I should march over there and ask her out.
Sheldon: Oh, goody! We're getting a cat.
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Jerusalem Duality
Sheldon: Engineering. Where the noble semiskilled laborers execute the vision of those who think and dream. Hello, Oompa-Loompas of science.
Quote from Penny in the episode Pilot
Penny: I'm a vegetarian, except for fish, and the occasional steak. I LOVE steak!
Sheldon: Well, that's interesting. Leonard can't process corn.
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Luminous Fish Effect
Mary Cooper: Honey, why did you get a loom?
Sheldon: Well, I was working with luminous fish and I thought, hey, loom.
Quote from Sheldon in the episode Pilot
Penny: Would it be weird if I used your shower?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: (to Sheldon) No!
Sheldon: No?
Leonard: No!
Sheldon: (to Penny) No.
Quote from Leslie Winkle in the episode The Bat Jar Conjecture
Leslie: There's no reason to feel uncomfortable just because we've seen each other's faces and naked bodies contorted in the sweet agony of coitus. Rest assured that any aspects of our sexual relationship regarding your preferences, your idiosyncrasies, your performance, are still protected by the inherent confidentiality of the bedroom.
Quote from Leonard in the episode The Middle-Earth Paradigm
Leonard: I call Frodo!
Sheldon, Raj, and Howard: Damn!
Quote from Raj in the episode The Middle-Earth Paradigm
Leonard: We all have other costumes, we can change.
Raj: Or we could walk right behind each other all night. It'll look like one person going really fast.
Quote from Howard in the episode The Dumpling Paradox
Penny: She'll have sex with anyone as long as they keep buying her things.
Howard: Really?
Penny: Yeah!
Howard: Yay! If you'll excuse me, I have some bar mitzvah bonds to cash.
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Grasshopper Experiment
Penny: I finally convinced the restaurant to give me a bar-tending shift, so I need to practice mixing drinks.
Leonard: That's Great! The key to acquiring proficiency in any task is repetition.
Sheldon: With certain obvious exceptions. ... Suicide, for example.
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