Howard: Okay, challenge them again.
Leonard: Doing it right now. Oh, they can't. There's an important Little League game tomorrow.
Howard: No wonder they beat us, they're jocks.

Raj: I feel bad for Bert.
Sheldon: So he's using his money to attract a mate. Is that any different than me using my intelligence to attract Amy? Or Leonard using his power of groveling to get Penny?
Leonard: It's totally different. Bert's money might run out, but I can beg until the end of time.
Penny: All that, and he's shorter than me.

Bert: Sorry again for barging in.
Leonard: You don't have to go. You're welcome to hang with us.
Sheldon: Actually, our friendship group is at capacity. But if anybody drops out, you're at the top of the list. Unless it's Raj, in which case, we'll probably get a person of color.

Sheldon: Hello, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
Amy: And I'm Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler.
Sheldon: Based on the glowing reception of our recent Behind the Flags retrospective, we thought you might like to see how it all came together.
Amy: So welcome to tonight's episode,
Both: Fun with Flags - Behind the "Behind the Flags: A Retrospective" Retrospective.

Bernadette: Let me just say good-bye. (Taps the glass) Halley. (Hits the glass) Look at Mommy. (Hits the glass) Over here, honey. (Pounding the glass)Say good-bye to Mommy! Look at me! Look at your mother!
*Babies crying*
Bernadette: All right, we can go.

Stuart: Guess who's home from day care?
Howard: It's Halley. Unless somebody else put an "X" on the bottom of their kid's foot.
Bernadette: You realize they called when you took her.
Howard: (singsongy) Guess who's home from the aquarium?

Leonard: If you're that upset, go get her back.
Bert: I tried. She's not answering my calls. Which really hurts because I bought her that phone.

Penny: Look, sweetie, relationships aren't about money, okay? It's about respect and having things in common and- Yes, Sheldon?
Sheldon: You and Leonard don't have anything in common. Maybe you should break up.
Leonard: (To Penny) You called on him.

Bert: Hello? Is anybody home?
Leonard: Is that Bert?
Bert: It's Bert.
Penny: I think it's Bert.

Bert: I made a huge mistake.
Raj: No, you didn't. Okay? Look, Bert, when I had money, I dated lots of girls who weren't right for me. And then I gave up my money, and now I'm alone, and living with my friends, and somebody else should probably talk now.

Raj: Hey, sorry if last night was awkward.
Bert: Actually, it got me thinking that I shouldn't flaunt my money to find love. I might break up with Rebecca.
Leonard: Wow, that's a big step.
Raj: I think it shows a lot of character.
Bert: I'm gonna hold out and see if I can find a hot young blonde who likes me for me.
Sheldon: (laughs) That's a good one. Okay, now, Leonard, you tell a joke.

Amy: What are you looking at?
Sheldon: Comments from our Behind the Flags retrospective. Get this, people are calling it "the longest one yet".

Howard: What are you doing here?
Stuart: Can't a guy hang out at a college he doesn't go to and stare at a baby that isn't his?

Stuart: Is it weird if we just stand here and watch her all day?
Howard: Probably.
Stuart: We should go.
Howard: Yeah.
Stuart: Or we could take her to the aquarium.
Howard: I'll get her, you grab her bag.
Stuart: Hang on, Halley, we're busting you out of there!

Amy: I'm sorry, Bert, but aren't you worried she's only with you for your money?
Bert: She better be. On our first date, I bought her an 80-inch flat-screen.
Sheldon: Your first date? Did you even measure her walls?