(Howard and Raj sing while playing the keyboards and guitar, respectively)
Howard: Wondering how it all began?
Raj: You'll need a good attention span-
Howard: For information and entertainment-
Raj: That's equally effective-
Both: It's Fun with Flags - Behind the Flags: A Retrospective. Flags!

Bernadette: I just don't know what the right thing to do is. If I go back to work, I'm abandoning Halley. If I don't go, I'm giving up everything I worked for. It's like there's no right choice.
Howard: Look, I don't know what the best decision is, either. But whatever we choose, if we're not happy, we can undo it.
Bernadette: I guess.
Howard: And the best part is: Halley won't remember a thing. (laughs) Babies are cute, but they're dumb.
(chuckles) I mean, I go like this, she thinks I'm gone. Then magically I'm back. I mean, honestly, why are we saving for college?
Bernadette: I'm not crazy about you calling our baby dumb.
Howard: Well, she gets it from me.

Bartender: Here you go.
Sheldon: Oh, thank goodness!
Bartender: One top secret quantum guidance system.
Leonard: You understood the math?
Bartender: No, but Sheldon told me all about it. He told everybody.
Leonard: That's just great.
Bartender: Oh, don't worry, he made us pinky swear we'd keep it a secret.

Leonard: Ask him.
Sheldon: Um, yes. Howdy, partner. Do you happen to recollect if I left a notebook in these here parts?
Raj: These here parts?
Sheldon: It's called fitting in. By the way, good luck.

Raj: Does this place look familiar?
Sheldon: It's hard to say.
Bartender: Hey, Sheldon's back!
Everybody: Sheldon!
Sheldon: It's getting clearer.

Bartender: You gonna buy another round for the house?
Sheldon: Uh, no, thank you. (To Leonard) We now know why MasterCard sent me a fraud alert.

Howard: Okay, here we go. Six years ago, I got a call that Bernie's great-aunt, Trixie, died.
Stuart: And?
Howard: And I forgot to give her the message.
Stuart: That's terrible.
Howard: The terrible part is, ever since then, I've been sending Bernie Christmas cards from Trixie.
Stuart: Howard!
Howard: Let me finish. And one card had five dollars in it I took from Bernie's purse.

Bernadette: I didn't want to tell you, but I'm having a really tough time about going back to work.
Howard: Oh. Okay, well, I get that. It was hard for me when I went back.
Bernadette: It was?
Howard: Of course. I missed you, and the baby, and being able to watch Ellen every day.

Sheldon: That's it. I'm in breach of my security clearance. I'm going to prison. And you know what happens to people like me in prison. I'll be forced to be some large man's tutor.

Raj: You're not going to prison.
Leonard: But, boy, it is funny to think about.

Raj: Wait a minute. Hey, let me see your phone.
Sheldon: Why?
Raj: Well, it's possible it was tracking everywhere you went.
Amy: Phones can do that?
Raj: Yeah, it depends on the privacy settings.
Penny: Oh, tha- that's so cool. How do you- how do you turn that thing off? (laughing nervously)
Leonard: Relax. I know when you "go for a run," you stop for a donut.
Penny: I don't even run there, I drive.

Howard: Well, I know she's mad at me about something.
Stuart: Well, what have you done that would upset her?
Howard: Oh, gosh, how much time do you have?

Leonard: We came home from work and we found you.
Sheldon: Home from work? What time is it?
Penny: It's 9 o'clock.
Sheldon: 9?! What happened to 8 and 7 and all the other o'clocks?

Sheldon: Why am I naked from the waist down?
Raj: I don't know where your pants are, but we did find your underwear in a pot on the stove.

Howard: Hey, what's for dinner?
Bernadette: Meatloaf.
Howard: (half-heartedly) Oh, cool.
Bernadette: Stuart made it.
Howard: (upbeat) Oh, cool.