Sheldon: Hello, Amy. It's nice to see you.
Amy: Nice to see you, too.
Sheldon: (to Leonard) And that's how you make effort look effortless.

Penny: When was the last time you got a massage?
Amy: Sheldon walked on my back two weeks ago, but that was just 'cause there was a spider on his pillow and he was trying to get away.
Penny: Leonard stood on me once, too, but he was just trying to see the Rose Parade.

Raj: It's nice to think that you grew up in this room and now your daughter's going to as well.
Howard: Mm. I hope she has the same amount of sex in it I did. None.

Leonard: You actually got in a pool?
Sheldon: I was scared, but I told myself it's just a big bathtub. Then I got scared again 'cause there are all these strangers in my bathtub.

Ramona Nowitzki: I was proud of him. A lot of people don't put their face in the water on the first day.
Sheldon: Well, I was hiding from a bee, but it still counts.

Howard: Why is it taking him so long to get a drink out of a vending machine?
Leonard: Oh, it's complicated. He finds pushing that little door and reaching up into the machine uncomfortably intimate.

Leonard: I don't want to play a game, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Wow, and I remember when you loved playing games with me. Maybe Penny isn't the only relationship you're phoning in.

Sheldon: You're sad, so I made you tea.
Leonard: Thanks.
Sheldon: And it's just the way you like it.
Leonard: Earl Grey?
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: Honey?
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: Unsweetened almond-
Sheldon: Good Lord! I made you tea. Just drink it!

Amy: I'll call you when we get to the hotel.
Sheldon: And if they have any of those tiny bottles of shampoo?
Amy: I will bring them home so you can show me how Godzilla takes a shower.

Ramona Nowitzki: Are these all from Peter Higgs?
Sheldon: Hmm? Oh, no, no, no. They're from many famous people. See? Oh, like this one. This is from Patrick Stewart. It says if I come to his house again, I get to meet his dogs.

Sheldon: Gentlemen, I am ready to work. To quote The Martian, "Let's science the feces out of this!" That's "The Martian" the book and "The Martian" the movie, not Marvin the Martian. Although to quote Marvin the Martian, "I claim this planet in the name of Mars."

Bernadette: It's okay, Howie never has on pants. The Domino's guy brings the pizza like this now. (covering her eyes)
Amy: Well, Sheldon always has his pants on. I don't think I could pick his knees out of a lineup.

Penny: So should we talk to each other or mingle?
Amy: I don't know where everyone is.
Penny: Yeah, I mean, I could see him eating one or two guests, but not a whole party.

Amy: This was a potential issue, so I got out ahead of it and I managed the situation for you.
Sheldon: You "managed the situation"?
Amy: That's right.
Sheldon: So my mother thought I was incapable of finding a mate, and my mate thinks I'm incapable of running my own life.
Amy: Not your whole life! I mean, science. You got that. Organizing your sock drawer, you're the king.

Sheldon: Can you believe my mother thinks we're both strange?
Leonard: (loudly) Absolutely not!
Penny: (whispering) That's too loud.
Leonard: (quietly) Absolutely not.