Ramona Nowitzki: Hey, did you eat yet?
Sheldon: Uh, breakfast yes, lunch no. I did have a cough drop, but that really rides the line between sucking and eating.

Amy: Sheldon, what what are you doing?
Sheldon: Just being the un-socialized eccentric my mother always thought I was.
Mary Cooper: You startin' to see why I didn't go in there?

[In Mary Cooper's living room]
Sheldon: And I don't understand why you're taking her side. By being my girlfriend, she's saying you're a weirdo, too.
Amy: I don't think that's what she's saying.
[Cut to Sheldon and Amy in the apartment kitchen, telling Leonard and Penny the story of their trip]
Sheldon: And?
Amy: That's exactly what she was saying.

Sheldon: Can you believe my mother thinks we're both strange?
Leonard: (loudly) Absolutely not!
Penny: (whispering) That's too loud.
Leonard: (quietly) Absolutely not.

Amy: You know, I'm sorry your mother made you feel bad. But, you know, at the end of the day, she was wrong, because you're not alone.
Sheldon: You're right. I have Leonard and Howard and Raj, Stuart, Penny, Leonard's mom, Bernadette, Wil Wheaton.
Amy: What about the woman who just buttered your big flat feet?
Sheldon: I was going chronologically. You're right between Koothrappali's father and Omar, the one-eyed Sparkletts guy.

Amy: This was a potential issue, so I got out ahead of it and I managed the situation for you.
Sheldon: You "managed the situation"?
Amy: That's right.
Sheldon: So my mother thought I was incapable of finding a mate, and my mate thinks I'm incapable of running my own life.
Amy: Not your whole life! I mean, science. You got that. Organizing your sock drawer, you're the king.

Penny: There's the little family!
Raj: Hello.
Stuart: Hello.
Leonard: And their Sherpas.

Leonard: How did you get the baby to stop crying?
Stuart: Oh, I just talked to her. I've been told the sound of my voice puts people to sleep.

Sheldon: Leonard, you and I have our ups and downs. But I have always considered you my family. Even before the recent threat of our parents fornicating like wrinkly old rabbits. I don't always show it, but you are of great importance to me. Both of you.

Sheldon: Hey, I hate to break up the party, but Amy says I'm tired and have to go to bed.

Howard: Why don't you just go home?
Sheldon: No, I can do this. I just, I just need another energy drink.
Oh, no.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: I want another one.
Leonard: So?
Sheldon: That's a craving. That's a sign of chemical dependency.

Raj: So, uh, instead of cleaning out the room, why don't we just decide on a theme for the nursery?
Bernadette: Does it really need one?]
Raj: Of course it does. Didn't your baby room have a theme?
Bernadette: Well, it doubled as my dad's office, and he was a cop, so I guess the theme was bloody homicide photos.
Raj: Oh. Mine was Winnie the Pooh.

Leonard: Stupid idea.
Penny: No, what's stupid is a physicist who doesn't understand when you swing an axe, you don't let go.
Leonard: For the tenth time, my mittens were slippery!
Penny: Ugh. It's 70 degrees, you didn't need mittens.
Leonard: You know how easily I blister.
Penny: Yes, yes, you bruise, you peel. It's like I'm married to an old piece of fruit.

Leonard: Listen, we realized, that, uh we're facing some new challenges as a married couple.
Penny: Yeah. And there are a few things we need to stay on top of. So we thought it would useful, and I can't believe I am about to say this-
Leonard: Would you please help us make a Relationship Agreement? But one that's tailored to us. Okay? We don't need a bathroom schedule.
Penny: Although a rule about him texting me from in there might help with the romance.

Bernadette: How come Stuart can get her to stop crying, but I can't?
Howard: It's Stuart. Maybe she's playing possum until he goes away.