Amy: What does it say I'm feeling?
Sheldon: Sad.
Amy: Yes. I'm looking at a picture of my grandma.
Sheldon: Oh, that makes sense, 'cause she's gone and you miss her.
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: And you're worried that turkey neck is in your future. What, now, see, now it says you're mad. Make up your mind.

Penny: All right, then we agree. He's not making any moves, it's this Dr. Ramona chick.
Bernadette: Nowitzki. I Googled her, she's pretty cute.
Penny: Really? All I got from Leonard was the Toblerone bar had nuts.

Bernadette: Is that Emily your ex-girlfriend?
Raj: Yeah. I'm getting all my exes together in order to discuss why they broke up with me and how I can be a better boyfriend.
Howard: Oh, God. You went through with that? What is wrong with you?
Raj: We are going to find out.

Bernadette: You're not gonna get information, you're just gonna get criticism that hurts your feelings.
Raj: Don't worry, I'm a grown man. I have a thick skin.
Howard: (chuckles) You're so stupid.
Raj: Hey!

Sheldon: Hey, Leonard, if you're happy and you know it, no need to clap your hands, because I have an emotion detector.

Amy: What's that? Are you working on your resume?
Penny: No, it's my brother's. I'm trying to help him get a job out here.
Sheldon: Oh, ooh! And that makes Leonard angry.
Leonard: No, it doesn't.
Sheldon: What? Leonard, please. I know an angry face when I see it. It's this red frowny guy on my phone.

Penny: I don't see the big deal if my brother comes and stays for a while.
Leonard: If you get him a job, he's gonna live here forever!
Penny: He would get his own place.
Leonard: Has he ever had his own place?
Penny: Yes!
Leonard: Did it have a metal toilet next to the bed?
Penny: It still counts.

Amy: Come on, Sheldon, let's go.
Sheldon: Gladly. Can we storm out?
Amy: I think it loses its impact if we're chatting about it.
Sheldon: Fine. I'll just give them the finger. (Sheldon gives them a thumbs down)

Sheldon: Gentlemen, you may remember Dr. Nowitzki. She's back at Caltech for her postdoc.
Leonard: Hello.
Ramona Nowitzki: Hello.
Raj: Hi. Oh, let me bring a chair for you.
Sheldon: Oh, thanks. Dr. Nowitzki's going to tell me about the work she did at CERN. And she brought me this duty-free Toblerone.
Leonard: Oh. I love those.
Sheldon: (To Ramona) Let's sit somewhere else.

Emily: Ooh, I'm not sure I'm comfortable sharing details about our relationship in front of Howard.
Raj: Oh. He's here to support me, so anything you have to say you can say in front of him.
Emily: Okay. Well, whenever you and I were in bed-
Raj: Howard, get out.
Howard: Not a chance.

Claire: Um I'm Claire. And I guess I broke up with you because you were just really needy. Also, you were incredibly vain. Like, all the time you spent shaping your eyebrows-
Raj: Okay, new rule. Everybody only gets one.

Bernadette: You're still gonna go, right?
Amy: I don't know. Sheldon's so vulnerable right now.
Penny: Oh, come on. Look, if the roles were reversed, he'd be on the first train to New Jersey. Or the second train if there were teenagers on the first one.

Leonard: He just made her laugh, something's wrong.
Raj: Do you see the way she's looking at him?
Howard: Yeah. Like Bernadette used to look at me.
Raj: I keep telling you, close the bathroom door.
Leonard: Ah, did you see that? She just touched his hand and he didn't swat it away. What is happening?
Howard: Okay, the simplest explanation is usually the right one.
Raj: Which is?
Howard: That ain't Sheldon.

Raj: Okay, uh, let's get things started. Um, why don't we go around the room, say your name, and why you broke up with me. Want to kick it off?
Lucy: Oh, okay. Um, I'm Lucy, and I broke up with Raj because I have severe social anxiety, and he kept trying to force me into uncomfortable situations.
Howard: Like this one?
Lucy: Yeah.

Amy: Now, I'm gonna look at some pictures to prompt an emotional response, and we'll see if the machine can identify them accurately.
Howard: Okay, remember, it can only detect happy, sad, angry and excited. Not other things you're feeling, like, "What have I done with my life?"