Sheldon: Hello, Amy. It's nice to see you.
Amy: Nice to see you, too.
Sheldon: (to Leonard) And that's how you make effort look effortless.

Penny: When was the last time you got a massage?
Amy: Sheldon walked on my back two weeks ago, but that was just 'cause there was a spider on his pillow and he was trying to get away.
Penny: Leonard stood on me once, too, but he was just trying to see the Rose Parade.

Sheldon: You know, Penny went to this spa to be away from you. Are you sure you should be going there?
Leonard: I don't want to wait two days for us to work this out.
Sheldon: Very well. You got married spur of the moment. I don't see why your divorce should be any different.

Howard: Watch. It's easy, once you get the hang of it. Step. Step. Hop onto ottoman.
Raj: Don't do that in socks, I almost broke my neck.

Raj: It's nice to think that you grew up in this room and now your daughter's going to as well.
Howard: Mm. I hope she has the same amount of sex in it I did. None.

Raj: It looks like a map from Dungeons & Dragons.
Howard: Mm. Except the creature in the crib is a level-nine poop monster.

Leonard: It's not that I'd stopped trying, it's just how relationships progress. They start with infatuation, but over time mellow into something more comfortable.
Sheldon: Hmm. Yeah, you're right. It's like when I first encountered the Pythagorean Theorem. You know, I was blown away that the square of the hypotenuse was the sum of the squares of the opposite sides. Yeah, but now I'm just like "eh."

Leonard: I don't want to play a game, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Wow, and I remember when you loved playing games with me. Maybe Penny isn't the only relationship you're phoning in.

Sheldon: Would you like to play a driving game I invented?
Leonard: Is it about the failing state of my relationship with Penny?
Sheldon: Never mind.

Amy: I'll call you when we get to the hotel.
Sheldon: And if they have any of those tiny bottles of shampoo?
Amy: I will bring them home so you can show me how Godzilla takes a shower.

Raj: No offense to her father, but he's not an MIT-trained engineer. Thinking and building is what you do.
Howard: MIT's motto is "Mind and Hand," which just so happens was also my motto as a lonely teenager.

Sheldon: You're sad, so I made you tea.
Leonard: Thanks.
Sheldon: And it's just the way you like it.
Leonard: Earl Grey?
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: Honey?
Sheldon: Yes.
Leonard: Unsweetened almond-
Sheldon: Good Lord! I made you tea. Just drink it!

Amy: I'll miss you.
Sheldon: I'll miss you, too.
Amy: I'll miss you more.
Sheldon: Well, if X equals the amount that you'll miss me, then I'll miss you X plus one.
Amy: (giggles) If you miss me X plus one, I'll miss you open parentheses X plus one, close parentheses to the second-

Sheldon: Well, what can we do to cheer you up?
Leonard: I really don't know.
Sheldon: You want to play Jenga? Or, uh, Ticket to Ride? Hearthstone? What would you be the happiest losing at?

Leonard: Where is this coming from?
Sheldon: Leonard, she might be drunk. All she had was chips.