Sheldon: Oh, Penny, I'm trying to take an interest in other people. Uh, how was your girls' night?
Penny: Oh, it was fine.
Sheldon: Did you have anything to eat?
Penny: Uh, chips.
Sheldon: (stammers) Anything to drink?
Penny: Some wine.
Sheldon: Well, I'm just playing tennis against the drapes here.

Sheldon: Amy is free. She had a harp lesson on Saturday, but it got canceled. Boy, when you take an interest in people, you really uncork a geyser of nonsense.

Bernadette: It's okay, Howie never has on pants. The Domino's guy brings the pizza like this now. (covering her eyes)
Amy: Well, Sheldon always has his pants on. I don't think I could pick his knees out of a lineup.

Penny: Just, it's like since we got married, he doesn't really try anymore.
Amy: Uh, Penny? I don't know how to say this, but this is my first girls' night and you're kind of bumming everybody out.

Bernadette: Things going well with you and Sheldon living together?
Amy: Better than ever. He asks about my day, takes an interest in my life. He's like my boyfriend in college, except he's real, so people can see him.
Bernadette: I've been seeing him for years. I'm still not convinced he's real.

Amy: Penny, is it weird that we're having girls' night here, but you don't live here anymore, so it's basically my girls' night?
Penny: I hadn't really thought about it.
Amy: But now you're thinking about it and it bothers you? I get that.

Leonard: If you must know, Penny won a spa weekend from work and she's taking me.
Sheldon: Oh, well you know, that is interesting. I wonder what kind of infection you'll come home with. My money's on fungal.

Sheldon: So, tell me, do you have any plans for the weekend?
Leonard: Are you gonna laugh at the answer?
Sheldon: Only if the answer is "shopping for baby shoes."

Sheldon: Leonard, I've been meaning to ask you: what size shoe do you wear?
Leonard: Why?
Sheldon: I'm trying to take more of an interest in other people's lives.
Leonard: That's nice. I wear a size eight and a half.
Sheldon: (giggles) That's small.

Leonard: Well, now be careful, these are hot. I could explain the thermodynamics of why the cheese seems hotter than the crust, but instead, I'm gonna keep it to myself.
Penny: Oh. You always know what not to say.

Leonard: Damn. I burped so hard, I died in my game.

Leonard: Hey, do you remember when we went wine tasting in Santa Barbara and you said that was the best rose you'd ever had?
Penny: Yeah, I remember us driving up there, going to the winery and that's it.
Leonard: And this wine is why.

Leonard: See you guys at work.
Raj: Be there bright and early.
Howard: Not me, paternity leave.
Sheldon: Oh! A small human wreaks havoc on his wife's genitals and he gets time off.
Howard: With pay, sucka!

Leonard: How did you get the baby to stop crying?
Stuart: Oh, I just talked to her. I've been told the sound of my voice puts people to sleep.

Sheldon: Wait, so how does the story end? Is the baby a jerk or is Bernadette a bad mother?
Amy: Sheldon!
Sheldon: What? Is there another twist coming? Is the baby not theirs at all?