Penny: I can't believe you fit in the crib.
Bernadette: I could take a bath in the sink. I don't, but I can.

Penny: So things started to turn around?
Bernadette: Yeah, eventually I figured out how to get the baby to sleep.
Leonard: Please tell me you didn't use Amy's magic juice.

Leonard: You want to decorate it tonight?
Penny: Yeah, with gasoline and a match? Sure.

Leonard: Stupid idea.
Penny: No, what's stupid is a physicist who doesn't understand when you swing an axe, you don't let go.
Leonard: For the tenth time, my mittens were slippery!
Penny: Ugh. It's 70 degrees, you didn't need mittens.
Leonard: You know how easily I blister.
Penny: Yes, yes, you bruise, you peel. It's like I'm married to an old piece of fruit.

Bernadette: How come Stuart can get her to stop crying, but I can't?
Howard: It's Stuart. Maybe she's playing possum until he goes away.

Raj: You know, in India when my baby brother cried like that, the servants would just take him far away so we couldn't hear it. (Howard and Bernadette stare at him) Not always, sometimes we'd leave.

Sheldon: So Bernadette, if I express interest in your baby will you promise not to make me touch it?
Bernadette: Sure.
Sheldon: Hey, how's life with your baby?
Amy: Really? You're never gonna touch their baby?
Sheldon: To this day I've never touched Stuart.

Penny: There's the little family!
Raj: Hello.
Stuart: Hello.
Leonard: And their Sherpas.

Penny: They told Mary they were living together, there was a fight, he got his feelings hurt, then he put underwear on his head-
Leonard: On purpose, not the way it used to happen in high school.
Sheldon: I was acting odd intentionally.
Bernadette: Really? So you can control it?

Penny: So tell me, how did Sheldon look with an earring?
Amy: Like the pirate who helps the other pirates connect to the Internet.

Penny: Hey, hey, I just found a farm where they let you chop down your own tree.
Leonard: Oh cool, I'll be like a pointy-eared Paul Bunyan.

Howard: So what did you and Leonard do?
Penny: Actually, we got in a pretty nasty fight.
Leonard: It might've been the worst one we've ever had.
Bernadette: Oh, my God, what happened?
Leonard: Well, we had started binge-watching Luke Cage together, and it was kind of our thing, and then, I find out that she watched two episodes without me.
Bernadette: It's like I was excited for a present and got socks.

Amy: You know, I'm sorry your mother made you feel bad. But, you know, at the end of the day, she was wrong, because you're not alone.
Sheldon: You're right. I have Leonard and Howard and Raj, Stuart, Penny, Leonard's mom, Bernadette, Wil Wheaton.
Amy: What about the woman who just buttered your big flat feet?
Sheldon: I was going chronologically. You're right between Koothrappali's father and Omar, the one-eyed Sparkletts guy.

Sheldon: Can you believe my mother thinks we're both strange?
Leonard: (loudly) Absolutely not!
Penny: (whispering) That's too loud.
Leonard: (quietly) Absolutely not.

Amy: This was a potential issue, so I got out ahead of it and I managed the situation for you.
Sheldon: You "managed the situation"?
Amy: That's right.
Sheldon: So my mother thought I was incapable of finding a mate, and my mate thinks I'm incapable of running my own life.
Amy: Not your whole life! I mean, science. You got that. Organizing your sock drawer, you're the king.