Amy: Well, that was quite a day.
Sheldon: It was. Bernadette had her baby, I made it to Wizarding World, and now it is time to complete your birthday celebration. (Pointing his wand) Hankius pankius.
Amy: I was afraid you'd be too tired.
Sheldon: Amy, I just saw a magic train and reported somebody for cutting the line. If that's not foreplay, I don't know what is.

Penny: Does the baby have a name yet?
Howard: We have named her Halley.
Penny: Oh!
Leonard: Oh, like Halley's comet.
Howard: Exactly. Also like the comet, Bernadette said she's not gonna have sex with me for another 75 years.

Leonard: It's not just Howard and Bernadette. I mean, look how far we've all come.
Penny: Hmm.
Stuart: You two got married.
Amy: Sheldon and I are living together.
Sheldon: But if my mom asks, we have bunk beds.
Leonard: Penny was a struggling actress when we met, and now she's a successful pharmaceutical rep.
Penny: Okay, you don't have to say "struggling" every time. You can just say actress.
Stuart: Howard went to space.
Amy: Bernadette got her doctorate.
Leonard: Sheldon, Howard and I are working with the government on our quantum gyroscope.
Amy: We've all come a long way. There's a lot to be proud of.

Stuart: Raj, if it's any consolation, I'm no better off than I was ten years ago.
Raj: Oh, yay! I have a doctorate in astrophysics and I'm every bit as awesome as the pasty-faced owner of a comic book store!
Sheldon: Raj! Show some compassion. Those are things that we think but don't say.

Raj: For God's sake, just drive in the knife, why don't you!
Stuart: What's your problem?
Raj: Well, you're all thinking that I'm the only one who hasn't done anything worthwhile.
Sheldon: I was not thinking it. Although, now that you point it out, it is undeniable.

Leonard: Sorry, Stuart.
Stuart: Hey, I'm in a hospital and I'm not the patient. I'm fine.

Howard: Remember what you learned in birthing class.
Bernadette: I remember thinking, "this is stupid" and I was right!
Howard: Do you want me to get the nurse?
Bernadette: No! If one more person puts their fingers near my uterus, I'm gonna cross my legs and snap 'em off!

Leonard: It's hard to believe Howard's having a kid.
Penny: Yeah.
Amy: Penny, you're the one who introduced him to Bernie.
Penny: How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?

Bernadette: I didn't know her five minutes and she asked, (imitating Mrs. Wolowitz) "Are you a Milky Way or a Snickers girl?"
Howard: Thank God you answered right - we wouldn't be here today.

Sheldon: Five minutes? We must be doing it wrong. It took us hours.

Bernadette: (To Howard) I'm so thirsty. Give me more ice chips.
Stuart: (munching on ice chips) Sorry. I thought these were room ice chips.

Howard: So, what are we gonna name this kid? Now that we know she's a girl, it kind of ruins my plan for Wally Wolowitz.
Bernadette: Could name her after your mom.
Howard: Debbie? (chuckles) No, she hated that name.
Bernadette: Did she have a middle name?
Howard: Melvina.
Bernadette: Let's keep thinking.

Amy: (hiding behind the door in her Harry Potter costume) Hello Is this about the baby?
Raj: No. People just keep kicking me out everywhere I go.
Amy: Good. Then you're used to this. (closes the door on Raj)

Howard: Stuart, stop driving like an old man. Speed it up a little.
Stuart: I'm not an old man! I just can't see at night.

Bernadette: (groaning) Here comes another one. (yelling) Hey, Squinty, the gas pedal's on the right!
Stuart: All right, hang on. If you see any pedestrians, just call 'em out.