Penny: Howard and Bernadette's kid might be born on your birthday. How cool is that?
Amy: Yeah, but I thought this baby was supposed to ruin their sex life, not mine.

Raj: This is not how I imagined this day going. I should be with them right now.
Leonard: Well, it is their child.
Raj: I know that. But to be fair, I've spent nine months helping Bernadette get ready for this baby. And Howard spent five minutes conceiving it. And I'm being generous.

Amy: I think I might have a little surprise that might help get things back on track.
Sheldon: Intriguing. Is "back on track" a hint that it has something to do with trains?
Amy: No.
Sheldon: Because if it did have to do with trains, and you were gonna give-
Amy: It's not about trains!
Sheldon: Oh. Not even a cozy sleeper car on the Orient Express?
Amy: Stop talking about trains!
Sheldon: Who's killing the mood now?

Leonard: Found the backup inhaler. Want to have sex?
Penny: Well, I didn't until I heard that.

Raj: (Outside, in a sing-song voice) Hello! Howard and Bernadette kicked me out because I told them they're having a girl! Oopsy, I did it again.
Penny: Maybe if we're quiet, he'll go away.
Raj: (sing-songy) You're gonna have to be quieter than that.

Amy: I got a Gryffindor robe for you.
Sheldon: (exhales) Oh A Gryffindor sleeping with a Hufflepuff? How scandalous.

Amy: I mean, the mood's a little different now. We don't have to rush.
Sheldon: Oh, I know, but Leonard and Penny think we're doing it, and I don't want to disappoint them.
Amy: And the mood continues to change.

Raj: (filming a video for the baby) Okay, little one, here we are back at home because you weren't quite ready to come out yet. You wanted to make an entrance. I get it.

Raj: And here's your daddy. When he tries to tell you he used to be cool, you can see he wasn't.

Howard: All right, enough with the camera.
Raj: Well, this is not for me. This is for the baby. Some day she's gonna want to see this.
Howard: I'm sorry. Who's gonna want to see this?
Raj: I I said "she" but lots of things are she - boats and cars, whales. Like, "thar she blows!"
Stuart: You're doing great.

Bernadette: Raj!
Raj: (into the camera) Well, okay, I'm gonna sign off now. This next part may contain some adult language.

Bernadette: How could you?!
Howard: We made it this far without knowing, and you ruined it!
Raj: Well, you guys have no idea how hard it is to know something like this and not say it!
Stuart: You told me it was a girl, and I didn't say it.
Bernadette: Raj!
Raj: You were supposed to keep that to yourself.
Stuart: Oh, yeah. I guess it is hard.

Leonard: Damn, I need my inhaler.
Penny: Just don't smoke.
Leonard: No, I went down the stairs too fast.

Leonard: I found it, but it's empty.
Penny: Well, it doesn't matter. We're not going to the hospital now.
Leonard: Are you sure? I'd really like to.

Leonard: Babe, they want to have sex.
Pennny: Oh, of course! The annual birthday booty spectacular!
Sheldon: That's a bit childish, isn't it?
Penny: I'm sorry, and what flavor is your bubble gum cigar?
Sheldon: Grape. I find it the most mild.