Ramona Nowitzki: I was proud of him. A lot of people don't put their face in the water on the first day.
Sheldon: Well, I was hiding from a bee, but it still counts.

Sheldon: What is Leonard doing calling you at this hour?
Amy: It's not important.
Sheldon: I must tell you, that seems a little inappropriate. Don't you agree?
Ramona Nowitzki: I do.
Sheldon: See? We both think so.

Ramona Nowitzki: Hey, did you eat yet?
Sheldon: Uh, breakfast yes, lunch no. I did have a cough drop, but that really rides the line between sucking and eating.

Leonard: He just made her laugh, something's wrong.
Raj: Do you see the way she's looking at him?
Howard: Yeah. Like Bernadette used to look at me.
Raj: I keep telling you, close the bathroom door.
Leonard: Ah, did you see that? She just touched his hand and he didn't swat it away. What is happening?
Howard: Okay, the simplest explanation is usually the right one.
Raj: Which is?
Howard: That ain't Sheldon.

Ramona Nowitzki: Are these all from Peter Higgs?
Sheldon: Hmm? Oh, no, no, no. They're from many famous people. See? Oh, like this one. This is from Patrick Stewart. It says if I come to his house again, I get to meet his dogs.

Sheldon: And don't forget to Skype me when you arrive.
Amy: I won't.
Sheldon: And every morning.
Amy: Got it.
Sheldon: Now of course, my 9:00 a.m. is your noon, so let's avoid the whole "good morning," "good afternoon" minefield, and let's just say, "Hello."
Amy: Good thinking.

Howard: Well, why would you do that?
Colonel Williams: You guys completed phase one, we'll take it from here.
Sheldon: Where did you move it?
Colonel Williams: I can't tell you that.
Leonard: Are you implementing phase two?
Colonel Williams: I can't tell you that.
Sheldon: Wait, so you're just going to take all the work we've done for the last year and toss us aside?
Colonel Williams: That one I can tell you, yes.
Howard: This is all very upsetting.
Colonel Williams: I'm sorry to hear that. As you know, the primary focus of the United States military is people's feelings.
Sheldon: If that's sarcasm, please save it for our enemies.

Leonard: Sheldon, you're being silly.
Sheldon: Am I? Yesterday I had an Air Force project, a girlfriend who lived with me, and my good friend Raj right across the hall.
Leonard: Do you really care about that last one?
Sheldon: No, but that list was sounding a little thin.

Howard: I mean, an entire year wasted.
Bernadette: You might be forgetting another accomplishment of the past year.
Howard: Oh. Yeah, yeah, we brought life into the world.
Bernadette: Really? That's the importance you put on us having a baby?
Howard: I'm happy about it, but, I mean, it's not like I did much. I mean, after the first three minutes it was pretty much all you.

Bernadette: I don't know if you realize this, but whenever you're between projects, you tend to get a little insecure.
Howard: Oh.
Bernadette: A little clingy.
Howard: I know and I'm sorry. (starts kissing her)
Bernadette: Oh, oh, oh, okay, stop. Stop. I love when you're affectionate, but this is not coming from a good place.
Howard: (laughing) Well, excuse me, but what did you do when you worked on that allergy drug for two years and the FDA shut down your project?
Bernadette: I signed us up for ballroom dance class.
Howard: Okay, and what did you do when they took you off the anti-fungal team?
Bernadette: I made us have a baby.

Bernadette: Really? He doesn't put raisins or banana slices or anything in it?
Amy: I don't think plain oatmeal was the point of that story.
Penny: I mean, I like a little brown sugar-
Amy: Guys!

Sheldon: I may have lost my guidance system and my girlfriend, but I still have a colon full of yesterday's meals to keep me company. Although, thanks to your high-fiber breakfast, I'm sure that'll be leaving me, too.

Penny: Oh come on, he's a grown man. He can take care of himself.
Amy: You really believe that?
Penny: Once again, you got me.

Sheldon: I feel so betrayed. You know, all my life I thought Uncle Sam was a friendly uncle who brought you presents. Turns out he's the other kind.

Penny: Champagne, champagne, and for the world's tallest second grader, apple juice.
Sheldon: No bendy straw? Some party.