Sheldon: What is Leonard doing calling you at this hour?
Amy: It's not important.
Sheldon: I must tell you, that seems a little inappropriate. Don't you agree?
Ramona Nowitzki: I do.
Sheldon: See? We both think so.

Penny: So, Sheldon, have you talked to Amy?
Sheldon: Yes, we Skyped this morning and I'm sure I'll check in with her before I go to sleep.
Ramona Nowitzki: Sheldon talks about her all the time. I can't wait to meet her.
Sheldon: That is true. She keeps asking how long Amy's going to be gone.

Sheldon: I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Amy: In fact, that's when I started to really miss you.
Sheldon: You know you just split an infinitive.
Amy: Did I? Are you gonna teach me a lesson?
Sheldon: I am. It is naughty to put an adverb between the word "to" and the verb stem.
Amy: What are you gonna do about it?
Sheldon: I'm going to admonish you.
Amy: Vigorously?
Sheldon: That's the only kind of admonishing I do.

Penny: Will you go with me?
Bernadette: To do what? Shake a can of nickels at them?

Raj: Can you even eat those things?
Leonard: If I take a Lactaid a half-hour before and some Pepto right after.
Raj: Sounds like a lot of work.
Leonard: Eh, I'm worth it.

Leonard: Sir, I-I-I'm sorry but I just don't get it. You came into our lab in the middle of the night and took our prototype and all of our research and didn't even tell us?
Colonel Williams: Sounds like you get it.

Howard: Well, why would you do that?
Colonel Williams: You guys completed phase one, we'll take it from here.
Sheldon: Where did you move it?
Colonel Williams: I can't tell you that.
Leonard: Are you implementing phase two?
Colonel Williams: I can't tell you that.
Sheldon: Wait, so you're just going to take all the work we've done for the last year and toss us aside?
Colonel Williams: That one I can tell you, yes.
Howard: This is all very upsetting.
Colonel Williams: I'm sorry to hear that. As you know, the primary focus of the United States military is people's feelings.
Sheldon: If that's sarcasm, please save it for our enemies.

Sheldon: And don't forget to Skype me when you arrive.
Amy: I won't.
Sheldon: And every morning.
Amy: Got it.
Sheldon: Now of course, my 9:00 a.m. is your noon, so let's avoid the whole "good morning," "good afternoon" minefield, and let's just say, "Hello."
Amy: Good thinking.

Leonard: Sheldon, you're being silly.
Sheldon: Am I? Yesterday I had an Air Force project, a girlfriend who lived with me, and my good friend Raj right across the hall.
Leonard: Do you really care about that last one?
Sheldon: No, but that list was sounding a little thin.

Sheldon: I may have lost my guidance system and my girlfriend, but I still have a colon full of yesterday's meals to keep me company. Although, thanks to your high-fiber breakfast, I'm sure that'll be leaving me, too.

Bernadette: Really? He doesn't put raisins or banana slices or anything in it?
Amy: I don't think plain oatmeal was the point of that story.
Penny: I mean, I like a little brown sugar-
Amy: Guys!

Penny: Oh come on, he's a grown man. He can take care of himself.
Amy: You really believe that?
Penny: Once again, you got me.

Bernadette: I don't know if you realize this, but whenever you're between projects, you tend to get a little insecure.
Howard: Oh.
Bernadette: A little clingy.
Howard: I know and I'm sorry. (starts kissing her)
Bernadette: Oh, oh, oh, okay, stop. Stop. I love when you're affectionate, but this is not coming from a good place.
Howard: (laughing) Well, excuse me, but what did you do when you worked on that allergy drug for two years and the FDA shut down your project?
Bernadette: I signed us up for ballroom dance class.
Howard: Okay, and what did you do when they took you off the anti-fungal team?
Bernadette: I made us have a baby.

Penny: Champagne, champagne, and for the world's tallest second grader, apple juice.
Sheldon: No bendy straw? Some party.

Sheldon: I feel so betrayed. You know, all my life I thought Uncle Sam was a friendly uncle who brought you presents. Turns out he's the other kind.