Penny: You know, Raj, honey, you're being too hard on yourself. When I first met you, you couldn't even talk to women. I mean, you couldn't even talk if one was in the room.
Raj: Oh, great, now I can say things like "I can't believe you're breaking up with me.", "Why are you breaking up with me?", "Yes, I'll still help you move".

Penny: Does the baby have a name yet?
Howard: We have named her Halley.
Penny: Oh!
Leonard: Oh, like Halley's comet.
Howard: Exactly. Also like the comet, Bernadette said she's not gonna have sex with me for another 75 years.

Amy: Well, that was quite a day.
Sheldon: It was. Bernadette had her baby, I made it to Wizarding World, and now it is time to complete your birthday celebration. (Pointing his wand) Hankius pankius.
Amy: I was afraid you'd be too tired.
Sheldon: Amy, I just saw a magic train and reported somebody for cutting the line. If that's not foreplay, I don't know what is.

Sheldon: It's not my fault I'm bad at sharing; I skipped kindergarten.

Sheldon: Come along, Amy. I know when I'm not wanted.
Amy: I don't think you do, but alright.

Leonard: You're good at revenge; how do we get him back?
Penny: Well, my go-to move is usually sleep with the person's boyfriend, but I kind of feel like I'm already doing that.

Raj: Hey, this pregnancy had an emotionally-needy third wheel way before you came along.

Sheldon: He's expecting a newspaper in the morning. Apparently, they still make them.

Sheldon: Oh, now, what about our 3-D chess set?
Leonard: Let me guess, you want it.
Sheldon: Well, no, I just didn't think you'd want a physical reminder of a game you never managed to win. As a kindness, I should probably take all the games.

Sheldon: If it's like your 3-D chess game, then you're out of your length, width and depth. Amy, get the Neosporin, somebody just got burned.

Leonard: All right, I tried.
Sheldon: "All right, I tried." That should be the title of your autobiography. Ooh, a second-degree burn.

Amy: I've got the Neosporin. Who got hurt?
Sheldon: It's a good thing you're cute.

Howard: It's like we have a butler. If I had a Batsuit I'd be Bruce Wayne.
Bernadette: You have a Batsuit.
Howard: It's pajamas, there's no cape.

Amy: If we're going to be staying in this apartment, would you be interested in doing a little redecorating?
Sheldon: Oh, actually, I would.
Amy: Great, what'd you have in mind?
Sheldon: Let's take every single thing from the other apartment and put it in here.

Amy: Well, how about we start a little smaller? Like moving the furniture around.
Sheldon: You know, I have always thought that this couch would look fantastic on the curb in front of the building.