Mrs. Petrescu: My sister's husband took all her things, too. Story at 11:00.

Stuart: Really, no one else is coming?
Sheldon: Oh, this is it. You are the practice round.
Stuart: Practice round? For-for what?
Amy: Uh, no. He just means that you were the first people we thought of.
Sheldon: You know, exactly. We've never thrown a brunch before, and I wanted to work out all the kinks.
Stuart: So, I'm like a lab rat before your real friends come over?
Sheldon: You see, your words sound reasonable, but your face looks angry.

Sheldon: Help me out here. This is not where I shine.
Amy: Stuart, you know you're one of our favorite people.
Sheldon: Okay, now, see, you look sincere, but your words are completely false. I'm glad we did this test run. These brunches are wild!

Sheldon: Would you like one, Mrs. Petrescu?
Mrs. Petrescu: Yes. Drink is fun and good friends - Applebee's.
Sheldon: She's learning English from TV.
Mrs. Petrescu: TV, good. Now back to you.

Stuart: So, what did I miss?
Bert: Eh, we watched Sheldon try to open a bottle for 15 minutes.
Mrs. Petrescu: 15 minutes can save you 15% or more on car insurance.

Penny: What's your name?
Jeff: Jeff.
Penny: Okay.
Jeff: My favorite part is your shower scene.
Penny: Been hearing that a lot today.
Jeff: I even have a screen grab on my phone.
Penny: Yep, there they are.

Leonard: Should've punched that guy.
Penny: Well, go ahead. He's right over there.
Leonard: Why do you do that? Can't you let me have my moment?

Guy: Hi. I like your movies.
Penny: Thank you!
Guy: I saw both of them.
Penny: I assume we're still talking about the movies, but after today, who knows.

Bernadette: I don't want to drive that. It's such a mom car.
Howard: The guy at the dealership said they're not just for moms anymore.
Raj: Then again, he did think you were my husband.
Bernadette: They thought it at the ultrasound. Why not at the car dealership?

Leonard: Never been on this side of the table before. I feel powerful.
Penny: Really? I feel like I'm selling candy so our team can get new uniforms.

Daniel: I love your movie.
Penny: Well, thanks.
Daniel: It has got to be one of the worst things I've ever seen in my life.
Penny: Your love confuses me.
Leonard: Would you like an autograph?
Daniel: Sure.
Penny: Okay, who do I make it out to?
Daniel: Daniel.
Penny: Okay.
Daniel: I have to ask. Were you trying to be that bad, or are you just a terrible actress?
Penny: That did not clear things up.

Amy: There's nothing to be afraid of, Sheldon.
Sheldon: The average cork speed is 25 miles per hour. If that is too fast around a school, it is certainly too fast around a kitchen.
Amy: Been 15 minutes. Just sayin'.
Sheldon: Okay, I can do this. Just give me a moment. (Cork pops and Sheldon shrieks) Oh! Mimosas coming up.

Bert: I once left orange juice in my fridge so long, it tasted like a mimosa.
Amy: How old was it?
Bert: It's hard to say. I don't remember much after I drank it.

Sheldon: You expressed an interest in having people over, and I feel I dismissed it too quickly. So, I took matters into my own hands, and I arranged a brunch.
Amy: Well, that's so nice. Who's coming?
Sheldon: Oh, uh, Stuart, Bert from the geology lab, and Mrs. Petrescu from downstairs.
Amy: You mean the Romanian lady on the second floor?
Sheldon: Yes. Oh, fun story: she grew up with ten siblings. Or possibly penguins. Her English is atrocious.
Amy: That's an odd mix of people.
Sheldon: Well, for our first time hosting, I thought it would be wise to conduct a trial run. You know, like how I practiced for that Halloween haunted house by going into the bathroom at the bus station.
Amy: You never went into that haunted house.
Sheldon: You never saw what jumped out at me at the bus station.

Amy: Well, thank you, Sheldon. This is a fun surprise.
Sheldon: Oh, well, the real surprise is how surprised you are that I'm great at surprises.
Amy: Well, that's not a surprise at all. I mean, if I knew you were good at surprises, I would have expected the surprise, and therefore not have been surprised. But as it is, I didn't know, and therefore my surprise should be unsurprising.
Sheldon: Don't get me all randy. Guests are on the way.