*Leonard using his inhaler*
Penny: I told you not to do the worm.
Leonard: (out of breath) You were right.

Amy: I don't think I slept two minutes last night.
Penny: Yeah, get it, girl. It's not what you think.
Leonard: I feel like I pulled something. Why didn't you tell me to stop?
Penny: Even more not what you think.

Amy: I don't know if I can make it through five weeks living with him.
Leonard: If you ever need a break, the owner of the train store will let you leave him there while you get a coffee.

Sheldon: Good morning! See? I didn't knock, but it's fine. (Quietly to himself) I didn't knock, but it's fine. I didn't knock, but it's fine.

Amy: Sheldon, I've made more than enough accommodations for you. We're both grown adults. We've been far more intimate than this. If you don't want to snuggle, fine. But we're not building a pillow wall.
Sheldon: Okay, well, I am sorry. I'm just worried that my sensitivity to temperature could make this a rough night. And no offense, but your bottom radiates enough heat, I'm surprised there aren't iguanas lying on it.

Leonard: That's it. It's Sheldon's bedtime. He is in for the night.
Penny: Wow. I cannot believe we are alone in our own apartment.
Leonard: (chuckles) It's weird. This must be how parents feel when their kid goes off to college. Unless they feel sad, then it's different.

Penny: So, what do you want to do?
Leonard: I know exactly what we are gonna do.
Penny: Really? You're a genius, and that's the first thing you come up with?
Leonard: Hey, Sheldon's not here, so we are going to put on music and dance in our underwear.
Penny: Ugh. Can we just have sex?
Leonard: Oh, don't worry. Once you see my sweet moves, sex is inevitable.

Bernadette: This is ridiculous. The doctor knows what the baby is, the ultrasound tech knows, Raj knows, his Grey's Anatomy online fan group probably knows.

Bernadette: Is it weird we don't?
Howard: I don't know. Maybe the surprise will make it more fun. Like magic tricks. Remember how disappointed you were when I explained the never-ending hanky?
Bernadette: I was disappointed to see the man I was engaged to pulling rainbow scarves out of his fly.
Howard: But how delightful was it when I pulled out a bouquet at the end of those scarves? It'll be the same thing when the doctor pulls a beautiful surprise out of you.
Bernadette: Everyone said I could do better.
Howard: But you didn't listen, and presto change-o, my baby's inside you. Ta da!

(Amy enters from the ensuite bathroom after Sheldon overheard her pre-bed routine)
Amy: Why'd you switch sides?
Sheldon: Be grateful I'm still in the room.

Amy: Sheldon? I know we took coitus off the table, but I was wondering how you feel about other forms of intimacy, such as snuggling.
Sheldon: Well, it's funny you should ask, because I was wondering how you'd feel about separating the two of us with a pillow wall.

Sheldon: Which side of the bed would you prefer?
Amy: Doesn't matter to me. Your choice.
Sheldon: No, no, we're living together now. Everything's equal. I know that I have a tendency to be controlling, so I would rather you choose.
Amy: Well, Sheldon, I really appreciate that, but these things mean more to you than they do to me, so whatever you want.
Sheldon: Well, clearly, it's not whatever I want, because what I want is for you to make this decision, and you refuse to do that.
Amy: Well, I'm not refusing. I'm just trying to be considerate.
Sheldon: Like when you let me get those shoes with the wheels on the bottom, and then watched me roll right into traffic?

Amy: Sheldon, will you please just pick a side?
Sheldon: Fine. Okay, now, on this side, I am closer to the exit in case of emergency.
Amy: Great. That's your side.
Sheldon: No, but I'm also closer to the entrance in case of attack.
Amy: Okay, I'll take that side.
Sheldon: Ah, then again, what are the odds of someone attacking me?
Amy: Rising rapidly.

Sheldon: Now, this side offers me proximity to the bathroom, but I am closer to the window where perverts can watch me sleep.
Amy: Okay. What if we do this? (Amy closes the drapes)
Sheldon: I suppose that works.
Amy: Great.
Sheldon: Although now I'm kind of worried someone's hiding behind those drapes.

Sheldon: How many pairs of underwear did you pack for the move?
Amy: I don't know. I didn't count.
Sheldon: You truly are the Goofus to my Gallant.
Amy: That's me.