Sheldon: Yeah, but what happens when we each get a peek behind the curtain? I mean, she's never even seen me unshaven.
Leonard: You just shaved yesterday. You're good for three months.

Leonard: Star Trek: The Original Series. The Enterprise was on a five-year mission to explore new worlds. Think of this as your personal five-week mission to do the same.
Sheldon: If you want to lure me in with sexy talk, that's how you do it.
*Leonard smiles at Penny*
Penny: Don't be proud of that.

Amy: So, is that a yes?
Sheldon: Not yet. How will I learn if I'm comfortable living with Amy or just comfortable because I'm in my own apartment? Now, if this experiment is going to be valid, I suggest a neutral environment.
Penny: Where would you go?
Sheldon: Well, ideally, an enclosed, self-sustaining biodome in New Mexico. Where we would eat crops fertilized with our own waste.

Penny: Wait. Why don't you guys stay across the hall, and we will live here?
Sheldon: Interesting. If my official residence were across the hall, I wonder if I'd need to knock every time I came over here.

Amy: There was water everywhere. It was such a mess.
Leonard: That stinks. How long are you out of the apartment?
Amy: About five weeks.
Penny: Ugh! Did you lose anything valuable?
Amy: Well, the pipe was over my closet, so all my clothes are gone.
Penny: Oh, so nothing. Great.

Amy: So, technically, I'd be moving in with my boyfriend?
Penny: I guess so. I'd finally get to live alone with my husband.
Amy: Oh, my, this is a big step.
Leonard: Mm-hmm. For two of us, it's in the right direction.

Leonard: All right, pressure's off.
Howard: Wanna see a movie?
Sheldon: Popcorn's on me.

Dr. Koothrappali: Hello, Rajesh. Are you calling to ask for money?
Raj: What? No.
Dr. Koothrappali: Are you calling to ask for things that cost money?
Raj: No.
Dr. Koothrappali: Great. What's up?

Dr. Koothrappali: What seems to be the trouble?
Bernadette: Something's wrong. I don't care about any of the baby stuff every other mom is so into. Honestly, I'm not even sure I like babies.
Dr. Koothrappali: Look, some people are baby people, and some people are not baby people. It doesn't mean you won't love your own baby.

Bernadette: But I thought I'd be more excited.
Dr. Koothrappali: Oh, being excited isn't a guarantee of anything. Rajesh's mother was thrilled when she was pregnant with him. After he was born, she doted on his every move. And you know what happened? He broke her heart, moved halfway around the world, and dates only poor white women. So you never know.

Leonard: Um, I don't really know how to say this.
Colonel Williams: Well, you could try starting with "sir".
Leonard: Right. Sorry, sir.
Sheldon: He said start with it, not end with it.

Howard: Sir, we've hit a bit of a snag. We're already behind schedule.
Sheldon: The computations required to overcome the deployability issues are more significant than we thought.
Leonard: I understand that we're under contract, and I don't know what the consequences of violating that are, but, uh we're not gonna be able to deliver in the time we promised.
Colonel Williams: (gets up and sighs) How long do you need?
Howard: We're thinking two years.
Colonel Williams: All right.
Howard: (chuckles) That's it? You're okay with that?
Colonel Williams: (scoffs) You think you're the first government contractor who isn't gonna deliver on time? We're still waiting for a big space laser Reagan ordered to beat the commies.

Sheldon: Leonard, can I ask you a question?
Leonard: Is it about the rotational symmetries you should be figuring out or your fake caffeine problem?
Sheldon: Howard, can I ask you a question?
Howard: No.

Leonard: Sheldon! We are dealing with an impossible deadline from the Air Force because of you. So have an energy drink, don't have an energy drink. Order suppositories and shove 'em wherever you want, I don't care!
Sheldon: You don't shove them. They come with an easy-glide applicator.

Leonard: It's okay, we'll figure something out.
Sheldon: But what if we can't?
Leonard: It'll be fine. You'll see. Sheldon? Buddy?
*Sheldon asleep and snoring while resting on Leonard's chest*
Howard: When the baby gets here, you gotta teach me that.