Bernadette: Is it weird we don't?
Howard: I don't know. Maybe the surprise will make it more fun. Like magic tricks. Remember how disappointed you were when I explained the never-ending hanky?
Bernadette: I was disappointed to see the man I was engaged to pulling rainbow scarves out of his fly.
Howard: But how delightful was it when I pulled out a bouquet at the end of those scarves? It'll be the same thing when the doctor pulls a beautiful surprise out of you.
Bernadette: Everyone said I could do better.
Howard: But you didn't listen, and presto change-o, my baby's inside you. Ta da!

(Amy enters from the ensuite bathroom after Sheldon overheard her pre-bed routine)
Amy: Why'd you switch sides?
Sheldon: Be grateful I'm still in the room.

Amy: Sheldon? I know we took coitus off the table, but I was wondering how you feel about other forms of intimacy, such as snuggling.
Sheldon: Well, it's funny you should ask, because I was wondering how you'd feel about separating the two of us with a pillow wall.

Amy: Sheldon, I've made more than enough accommodations for you. We're both grown adults. We've been far more intimate than this. If you don't want to snuggle, fine. But we're not building a pillow wall.
Sheldon: Okay, well, I am sorry. I'm just worried that my sensitivity to temperature could make this a rough night. And no offense, but your bottom radiates enough heat, I'm surprised there aren't iguanas lying on it.

Leonard: That's it. It's Sheldon's bedtime. He is in for the night.
Penny: Wow. I cannot believe we are alone in our own apartment.
Leonard: (chuckles) It's weird. This must be how parents feel when their kid goes off to college. Unless they feel sad, then it's different.

Penny: So, what do you want to do?
Leonard: I know exactly what we are gonna do.
Penny: Really? You're a genius, and that's the first thing you come up with?
Leonard: Hey, Sheldon's not here, so we are going to put on music and dance in our underwear.
Penny: Ugh. Can we just have sex?
Leonard: Oh, don't worry. Once you see my sweet moves, sex is inevitable.

Penny: Wow! Where did you learn these moves?
Leonard: The world may have forgotten about Dance Dance Revolution, but not this smooth criminal.

*Leonard using his inhaler*
Penny: I told you not to do the worm.
Leonard: (out of breath) You were right.

Amy: I don't think I slept two minutes last night.
Penny: Yeah, get it, girl. It's not what you think.
Leonard: I feel like I pulled something. Why didn't you tell me to stop?
Penny: Even more not what you think.

Amy: I don't know if I can make it through five weeks living with him.
Leonard: If you ever need a break, the owner of the train store will let you leave him there while you get a coffee.

Sheldon: Good morning! See? I didn't knock, but it's fine. (Quietly to himself) I didn't knock, but it's fine. I didn't knock, but it's fine.

Sheldon: So, how is everyone?
Amy: Miserable and exhausted.
Sheldon: Really? I slept great.
Amy: Well, I didn't, and it's your fault.
Sheldon: How? You had the whole floor to yourself.

Amy: Sheldon, maybe living together is a bad idea.
Sheldon: But what kind of scientists would we be, drawing a conclusion after only 12 hours of data?
Amy: The kind who almost put a pillow over your face last night.

Sheldon: Wow. I anticipated we'd have problems, but I never thought your scientific rigor would be one of them.
Amy: I'm sorry, are you questioning my integrity as a scientist?
Sheldon: If the lab room disposable shoe cover fits.
Penny: Was that a science diss?
Leonard: Yeah.
Penny: Was it a good one?
Leonard: Meh.

Amy: What would a theoretical physicist understand about an experiment anyway? I mean, you wouldn't know a confounding variable if two of them hit you in the face at the same time! And you don't even get that joke, 'cause you don't even work with confounding variables!