Zack: Do you have a bodyguard to keep spies away?
Leonard: I have Sheldon, that keeps most people away.
Zack: I miss that guy. He's like the Swedish Chef Muppet. I don't know what he's saying, but he's funny.
Leonard: Oh, I know what he's saying, and he's not, he's not funny.

Bernadette: So you wanted to learn something physical and you came to Howard Wolowitz?
Howard: Hey, the circus arts are very physically and mentally demanding. Have you ever tried to juggle?
Bernadette: Yes, I'm juggling my love for you and my embarrassment of you right now.
Howard: And it's hard, isn't it?

Sheldon: Physicist, baker, lover, what can't I do?

Penny: I didn't know you could drink while you were breastfeeding.
Bernadette: Yeah, they say the yeast in beer helps with milk production.
Amy: I'm pretty sure that's a myth. Let me check.
Bernadette: Ruin it for me, and I'll break this glass over your head.

Penny: You want food?
Bernadette: Yeah, breastfeeding burns, like, 5,000 calories a day. (To Amy) Do not touch that phone!

Sheldon: What? You hold my hand, you kiss my mouth, but you draw the line at 102 fever? What happened to our love?

Howard: Look, something's going on with Bernadette. She say anything to you?
Stuart: Well, nope, not a word.
Howard: Come on, be honest. Did you tell her I tried her breast pump?
Stuart: No, but I did mention it to my therapist.

Amy: How can he not remember a day?
Penny: Well, people who are abducted by aliens lose time. I mean, maybe it happens to the aliens, too.

Sheldon: My pants are missing, I don't remember anything. Penny, this is your youth. What do I do?

Sheldon: You know, I felt the same way about the spork. Uh, solids and liquids handled by one utensil? That'll never work. Spoiler: works.

Sheldon: Yeah, I felt the same way about the platypus. You know, bird and mammal in the same creature? No way. And spoiler: way.

Sheldon: Hello.
Amy: Why did you tell Leonard you're working on the gyroscope tomorrow?
Sheldon: Because I am.
Amy: But you said you were working with me.
Penny: Uh-oh, someone's got two dates to the nerd prom.

Amy: Did you say you guys are working on the guidance system tomorrow?
Leonard: Yeah, why?
Amy: Well, Sheldon said that he was gonna work with me on our quantum perception project.
Leonard: We've had this planned for a week.
Amy: Well, he reconfirmed with me this morning.
Raj: Guys, before this gets ugly, remember, the winner gets Sheldon.

Raj: Can't believe Bert has a girlfriend and I don't.
Amy: I thought you were taking a break from women to focus on your career.
Raj: Oh, grow up.

Bernadette: What if she likes the people who work there more than us?
Howard: She already likes soap bubbles more than us.