Penny: Little finger sandwiches, too. This place is amazing.
Bernadette: Interesting thing about finger sandwiches: you put enough of them together, you got a sandwich.

Sheldon: So with this level of high-power laser array, we would actually be able to solve the black hole information paradox once and for all.
President Siebert: That's impressive, and how much funding were you looking for?
Sheldon: $20 million.
President Siebert: Really? You think you can build that for $20 million?
Sheldon: Not a chance.
President Siebert: I'm sorry, then why are you asking me for it?
Sheldon: Because once you've spent $20 million, you're much more likely to give me an additional 50.
President Siebert: So actually, what you're saying is with $70 million, you can build this.
Sheldon: I can see why you'd think that, but no. You can't go to the board of trustees and say you gave Sheldon Cooper $70 million and have nothing to show for it. No, the only way you'd be able to save face is to double down.
President Siebert: So 140?
Sheldon: And then double again.
President Siebert: 280?
Sheldon: And then - good news - not quite double again. So, uh, what do you say? We have a deal?

Leonard: He said no?
Sheldon: No. That's only a two letter word. You're gonna have to double down.

Amy: Sheldon, they're not gonna give you half a billion dollars. I mean, they won't even give me that much and I keep promising I can make people's brains "grow younger".
Penny: Can you?
Amy: (whispering) No. Shh.

Sheldon: But while we're on the subject of fashion, I'm asking the university for some funding tomorrow. What should I wear?
Penny: Mm. Well, I've got a push-up bra I can loan you that always gets me free drinks.
Amy: How much money are you asking for?
Sheldon: $500 million.
Penny: Then I'd go no bra.

Raj: You just have to wait for science to catch up or technology to get cheaper. Think about, uh, DVD players. They used to cost, like, a thousand dollars, but just the other day I used one to smash a bug.

Sheldon: But I need it. It's the only way to settle the contradictions between gravity and quantum mechanics.
Penny: Well, it's too much money, you can't ask for that all at once.
Sheldon: Well, what if I ask for it in six easy installments of $83,333,333.33?

Penny: This is just to give you ideas. You know, do-do you want something simple and elegant? I mean, do you want a train?
Sheldon: [entering the apartment] Ooh, we're talking about trains.
Amy: Not the kind of trains you like.
Sheldon: Oh, I like all kinds of trains: steam, diesel, coal, elevated, bullet. I defy you to name a train that I don't like.
Penny: The kind on the back of a wedding dress?
Sheldon: I did not see that coming. Good job.

Howard: Well, I'm sorry, Sheldon, but this sort of thing happens. Higgs had to wait almost 50 years before they built a collider big enough to prove his theory.
Sheldon: 50 years? But I want to play with it now.

Amy: What do you need that kind of money for?
Sheldon: I have figured out an experimental design that may corroborate my latest thinking on string theory. I just need 2,148 high-power lasers to compress 20 micrograms of gold into a small enough volume to make a microscopic black hole.
Amy: [seeing Penny's incomprehension] Just nod.
Penny: Mmm.

Howard: Hey. Missed you guys at the faculty mixer.
Raj: Ah, you should have been there; dessert was bananas. Sorry, that was misleading. The dessert was pie, but the pie was bananas. Actually, the pie was cherry, but the taste of the pie was bananas.

Leonard: What-what are you doing?
Sheldon: The light is red so I came to a stop.
Leonard: You're in a stolen cop car with a dead hooker in the trunk. You don't have to obey traffic laws.
Sheldon: I know I don't have to. The fun is choosing to.

Leonard: Your theories are pretty abstract. I wouldn't even know how to design an experiment to prove them.
Sheldon: Says the experimental physicist. Well, I know a place the university can make some cuts. Bye, Leonard!

Leonard: I guess you could create a contained microscopic black hole.
Sheldon: Huh. Interesting. Welcome back, Leonard. Sorry, you're out.
Raj: What did I do?
Sheldon: Exactly.

Bernadette: There goes date night.
Howard: Are you kidding? Stuart's here! Get your purse. We're going out.
Bernadette: What about the dinner you made?
Howard: Right. Hey, Stuart! That can of soup sitting by the stove, that's for you!
Bernadette: You made canned soup for date night?
Howard: And you wore sweatpants. Let's go.