Bernadette: Now I feel bad.
Howard: Well, she never really liked me. It's kind of nice she hates you now, too.

Bernadette: Oh, and, Penny, she kinda threw up on your stuffed bear.
Penny: Oh, that's okay.
Leonard: Hey. That's an Ewok and it's mine.
Penny: Yeah, which is why it's okay.

Bernadette: Howard's not here.
Raj: Oh, I know, he's been in the lab every night this week with his work wife.
Bernadette: That's weird, I thought his work wife was standing in my kitchen.

Penny: Now, why don't you go wash up, and we'll call you when dinner's ready.
Sheldon: Okay. (Sheldon leaves)
Leonard: (surprised) What did you do? Are you a witch?

Penny: No, I've been reading Bernadette's parenting book. It's like the answer key to the Sheldon test.

Leonard: That's amazing.
Penny: I know. But, you know, it's only birth to five. What do we do when he turns six?
Leonard: Take him to the zoo and leave him there.

Bernadette: Did you do the laundry?
Sheldon: I sure did. Ooh, he's gonna be steamed. Just like his dress shirts.

Sheldon: What makes you think you can treat me like a child?
Leonard: Your shampoo comes in a Big Bird bottle.
Sheldon: That's because the adult shampoo burns my man eyes.

Amy: Oh, that's Sheldon. Oh, he's upset with Leonard and Penny. (phone whooshes) And Bernadette. (phone whooshes) And Mark Twain?

Raj: I used to have the stuffed raccoon from Guardians of the Galaxy, but Cinnamon licked it raw.
Howard: There's a time and place for your randy dog stories, and it's never and nowhere.

Leonard: Hey, what you reading?
Penny: A parenting book.
Leonard: Oh, my God. Are-are we?
Penny: Wha-- No! You think this is how I would tell you?
Leonard: Well (stammering) ... you're sitting there with a book. It felt like anything was possible.

Sheldon: It is a big deal. Howard's getting Amy used to laughing and listening to music. What if she expects that madness at home?

Sheldon: See, he gets Ewoks in his bed.
Amy: You've got Chewbacca. That's enough.

Penny: Yeah, no more stories about sex, so, Amy, that brings us to you.
Amy: Well, at work we've been doing some interesting research with neuroprosthetics.
Penny: Neat. I've been rewatching The O.C., so we're all leading productive lives.

Amy: We've been working on a computer interface that can use brain wave patterns to control robotic limbs, but we're having a little trouble localizing the signal from the EEG cap.
Howard: Oh, well, have you thought about adding a phased array of sensors for better localization?
Amy: Actually, that never occurred to me.
Penny: It never occurred to me I would miss the Ewok conversation.
Leonard: Good, because I just bought another one on Amazon.