Ms. Davis: Thank you both for coming. President Siebert asked that I be a part of this conversation to help us calmly discuss what went wrong and how we can better move forward. We are not here to point fingers, so, Dr. Cooper, please stop that.

Howard: [engine starts] Check it out. [engine revving] That there, son, is 12 horses of "eye-talian" thunder.

Howard: Hey. You still mad?
Bernadette: Are you still a jackass?

Sheldon: [inner monologue] Look all the infinite Mandelbrot sets. Here a brot, there a brot, everywhere a Mandelbrot.

Amy: So apparently, if we win, I'll be the fourth woman ever to win a Nobel in physics.
Penny: Wow, that's a big deal.
Amy: Yeah, tell me about it. This morning, I blew through my antiperspirant in, like, an hour.

Amy: I-I'm sorry. I-I just-- I-I snapped.
President Siebert: Oh, you're sorry! It's all better then! Listen up, you have a shot to win a Nobel Prize, and you're blowing it.
Ms. Davis: I think what President Siebert is trying to say is that you have a shot to win a Nobel Prize and you're blowing it.
Sheldon: Uh, that's exactly what he said.
Ms. Davis: Yes, but I said it in my calming H.R. voice.

Sheldon: Amy. Thank goodness you're home. I don't know if you can tell, but I am literally losing my mind.
Amy: You are?
Sheldon: Isn't it obvious? I just used "literally" figuratively. Like a crazy person.

Sheldon: [inner monologue] Hmm, this is nice. It's sort of like floating in space. But better because my eyeballs haven't frozen.

Ms. Davis: Well, how about have a seat? Maybe you'd like a glass of water?
Amy: You have anything with a little more kick?
Ms. Davis: Seriously, Dr. Fowler, this is human resources.
Amy: You're right. I don't know what I was thinking.
Ms. Davis: [retrieves two glasses and a bottle of whiskey] You want ice, you're out of luck.

Penny: Sheldon, maybe you don't know what to do because Amy's always taking care of you.
Sheldon: Of course. And by calming down, I've taken away the one thing that gives her comfort: caring for me.
Penny: That's what you heard?
Sheldon: Yes. I need to have an emotional meltdown so she's forced to focus on me and forget about herself.
Leonard: No. Th-That's not even close to what-- Uh, you know, actually, that might be your best move.

Howard: It's a scooter. It can go on some highways.

Bernadette: I can't believe you were sneaking around my back like a child.
Howard: I just didn't want you to worry.
Bernadette: No, you just didn't want to get caught.
Howard: I'm sorry, but you telling me what I can and can't do is pretty damn emasculating.
Bernadette: Emasculating? You were about to ride bitch on a moped with another man.

Amy: What do you say? We could both use a break. Come on, I'll do it with you.
Sheldon: Okay, but not in the same tank. I already shared a uterus with my twin sister. I don't need to go through that again.

Amy: Plus, Sheldon's freaking out 'cause we got in trouble.
Leonard: Well, I've got him distracted for a while.
Penny: Doesn't he know how to solve those?
Leonard: Normally, yes, but I switched the stickers around, so I don't even think it's possible to solve-
Sheldon: Solved it.
Leonard: What? No, you didn't.
Sheldon: Not the cube, but the puzzle of why I couldn't solve the cube. Solution: you switched stickers 2, 9, 32, and 51.
Penny: Really? This thing has numbers?
Sheldon: Anything has a number if you assign it a number, friend number four.
Leonard: Top five, not bad.

Sheldon: I tried to console her, but nothing seemed to work.
Leonard: Okay, when you say you consoled her, what exactly does that mean?
Sheldon: [sighs] I took a walk, I came back, she was still upset, so I came here.
Penny: Well, I don't see what else you could've done.