Sheldon: Thank you, Dr. Fowler. I have a very long and somewhat self-centered speech here. But I'd like to set it aside.
Penny: Yeah!
Howard: Way to go!
Sheldon: Because this honor doesn't just belong to me. I wouldn't be up here if it weren't for some very important people in my life. Beginning with my mother, father, meemaw, brother and sister. And my other family, who I'm so happy to have here with us. Is that Buffy the Vampire Slayer? I was under a misapprehension that my accomplishments were mine alone. Nothing could be further from the truth. I have been encouraged, sustained, inspired and tolerated not only by my wife, but by the greatest group of friends anyone ever had. I'd like to ask them to stand. Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali. Dr. Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz. Astronaut Howard Wolowitz. And my two dearest friends in the world, Penny Hofstadter and Dr. Leonard Hofstadter. I was there the moment Leonard and Penny met. He said to me that their babies would be smart and beautiful. And now that they're expecting, I have no doubt that that will be the case.
Penny: Thanks, Sheldon. I-I haven't told my parents yet, but thanks.
Sheldon: Oh. I'm sorry. Don't tell anyone that last thing. That's a secret.
Howard, Bernadette, Raj, Penny, Leonard, I apologize if I haven't been the friend you deserve. But I want you to know in my way, I love you all. And I love you. Thank you.

Howard: You still feel good about leaving them with Stuart and Denise for a couple days?
Bernadette: I guess. I just hope we don't miss Michael's first words.
Howard: Or Stuart's last words.

Sarah Michelle Gellar: Just to be clear, this isn't a date.
Raj: Yeah, I know.
Sarah Michelle Gellar: Then why are you holding my hand?

Sheldon: Leonard we need to do something about your wife.
Leonard: What's the matter?
Sheldon: She is clearly sick, and she's gonna take us all down with her.
Leonard: She's not sick, Sheldon.
Sheldon: She is, and I'm gonna catch it, and it's gonna ruin the greatest day of my life.
Leonard: I promise you're not going to get what she has.
Penny: What's going on?
Sheldon: [gasps] Unclean! Unclean!
Penny: What?
Leonard: He thinks you're sick.
Penny: Oh. Should we tell him?
Leonard: Well, if we don't, he might try and jump out of the plane.
Penny: Yeah. Doesn't answer my question.

Leonard: What?
Amy: Sheldon has something he'd like to say.
Sheldon: I'm sorry I didn't react appropriately. You and Penny are bringing new life into the world. Congratulations. I can't wait to meet it.
Leonard: "It"?
Sheldon: That's a gender-neutral pronoun. If you're offended, take it up with the English language.

Sheldon: All right, bagels down. Before we head to the airport, I'd like to go over a few things.
[others groan]
Sheldon: From the moment we step off the plane, each and every one of you is an ambassador for Amy and myself.
Howard: [to Bernadette] I told you these tickets weren't free.

Amy: What happened to "I'm never gonna have kids"?
Penny: It was an accident. I went out drinking with Sheldon.
Amy: [gasps] Oh, my gosh. We're sister wives?
Penny: No! Then I went home and slept with Leonard.
Amy: While fantasizing about-
Penny: Leonard. And a little Idris Elba.

Leonard: Are you kidding me? You just found out that a woman who has loved and cared for you for 12 years is pregnant, and all you can say is you're relieved that she's not gonna get you sick?
Sheldon: There's no need for a recap. I was there.

Amy: I think you need to do some editing, like maybe cut out all that stuff about your childhood.
Sheldon: Are you kidding? Growing up in the backwoods of East Texas is what makes me warm and relatable.
Amy: Well, what about all these pages calling out everyone who said you wouldn't succeed?
Sheldon: I told them all they would rue the day. How is it gonna make me look if the day finally comes, and they're not filled with rue?

Penny: Pickled herring. Who knew how good it was!
Leonard: Really? Sounds gross.
Penny: Looks gross. Smells gross. It's delicious! [knock on door] Ooh, that might be my salted cod!

Howard: Oh, good, you're here. Listen, we're thinking maybe we should go back to L.A.
Amy: Why?
Howard: We just can't be this far away from the kids. Bernie's having a meltdown, and, frankly, so am I.
Sheldon: Yeah, well, pull it together. This is a big day for me.
Howard: [scoffs] Yeah, I wasn't sure what to do. Now I am. We're going home.
Leonard: We'll join you.
Penny: Oh, wait. Do I get a vote in this?
Leonard: They'll have pickled herring on the plane.
Penny: Bye-bye.

Amy: Sheldon, this isn't about ruing. This is about humbly accepting a great honor.
Sheldon: Amy, we won the Nobel Prize in Physics. Humility is for people who win the goofy Nobels like Literature, Economics and Peace.
Amy: Please tell me that's not in your speech.
Sheldon: Oh. I can cut it, but it's the only joke I have.

Sheldon: All right, well, we should head out now if we're gonna get to the airport six hours before boarding.

Leonard: Oh, don't slam the-
Sheldon: Don't slam the [gasps] That was exhilarating.

Amy: Why didn't you tell me?
Penny: I didn't tell anybody.
Amy: I'm not anybody. I'm your best friend.
Bernadette: What's going on?
Amy: She's pregnant.
Bernadette: That's fantastic! Why didn't you tell me?
Amy: She didn't tell me, either.
Bernadette: But I'm her best friend.
Amy: [chuckles] We'll get into that later.