Amy: Can I do anything?
Sheldon: No.
Amy: I can make you some tea, I could sing "Soft Kitty"-
Sheldon: I don't understand how you're not more upset by this. This is your paper, too.
Amy: I am upset, Sheldon. I'm just trying to hold it together for you. Like when that goose wouldn't leave us alone at brunch.
Sheldon: That thing scared you, too?
Amy: Well, of course it did. I was wearing a down jacket.

Leonard: Um, I picked it. You're the one who told me to stop being such a satisficer all the time.
Sheldon: What? I did not. I just pointed out that you were one. It's what I like best about you. Well, that and those little notes you leave in my lunch.
Amy: I leave those!
Sheldon: Well, that's disappointing. I already know that you heart me. Now I don't know if Leonard does.

Amy: You know, you're right. This is a huge day for me, and I'm allowed to enjoy it without worrying how it's going to affect my husband.
Raj: Is it me or did it just get fierce in here?

Raj: Okay, any other questions? Mm. Not about aliens? [to Bernadette] What?
Bernadette: Do you still want me to ask the one you gave me? 'Cause it kind of feels like we're past that.

Leonard: Is there anything we can do?
Sheldon: No. Yeah-- wait. Do I smell Siam Palace?
Leonard: Oh, yeah, it's our dinner. I mean, it's your dinner.
Sheldon: Any mango sticky rice?
Penny: No.
Sheldon: And the blows keep coming.

Leonard: Okay, if I go in there and pick something I want to do that she also wants to do, she's gonna think I'm just picking it to make her happy. So I feel like I have to pick something I know she doesn't want to do or she's gonna be disappointed. Right? What do you think?
Amy: Think I've got ice cream in this bag that's starting to melt.

Bernadette: You know what, you should audition now.
Howard: It's fine. I don't need to be a member of the most elite magical society on the face of the earth.
Bernadette: Sounds like you still want it. And I don't want our kids to watch this tape one day and think their dad is a quitter.
Howard: Oh, we don't have to show it to them.
Bernadette: Oh, I'm definitely showing it to them.

Penny: Hey, want to get lunch?
Bernadette: I can't. Halley and Michael were up all night, and I'm way behind here.
Penny: Oh, no, are they sick?
Bernadette: No. They were just laughing and playing like a couple of jerks. Boy, they're cute, but they ruin everything.
Penny: I get that. You know, I've been thinking lately that maybe I don't want kids.
Bernadette: Are you crazy? Of course you want them. It's amazing.
Penny: You just said they ruin everything.
Bernadette: I'm allowed to. It's their fault I pee when I laugh.

Amy: How long has it been since you've seen it?
Sheldon: Not since the day I recorded it. No, I had just watched Back to the Future II, where Marty McFly gets a glimpse of his future self and that got me thinking, the day may come where I needed my help, like they did with that movie. That was not great.

Anu: I think I'm nice. Are you nice?
Raj: Oh, I'm definitely nice. Every time a girl breaks up with me she always starts with, "You're a nice guy."

Raj: I get it. You know, um, I used to have a long list of what I wanted from a wife.
Uh, eyes like Sandra Bullock, hair like Sandra Bullock, and the bravery of Ryan Stone.
That's Sandra Bullock's character in Gravity. But now, I just want someone nice.

Amy: Is there anything I can do?
Sheldon: Yes. You can build me a time machine so I can go back and tell my younger self to give up, because nothing's gonna work out the way he wants.
Amy: I was thinking a nice cup of leaf soup.

Amy: Speaking of putting dollars in things I loved you in Magic Mike.
Joe Manganiello: [chuckles] Thanks. [to Wil Wheaton] Switch places with me.

Leonard: I've always been a people pleaser. Is that so bad? It's gotten me this far.
Amy: What, almost up four flights of stairs?

Leonard: He sent us that Indian marriage questionnaire.
Penny: Ooh, read one.
Leonard: Okay. "How religious are you?" That's easy, both of us: not at all.
Penny: No, I wouldn't say not at all. I mean, I am pretty spiritual. I do go to yoga, so...
Leonard: Great, so your church is Our Lady of the Stretchy Pants.