Amy: Can I do anything?
Sheldon: No.
Amy: I can make you some tea, I could sing "Soft Kitty"-
Sheldon: I don't understand how you're not more upset by this. This is your paper, too.
Amy: I am upset, Sheldon. I'm just trying to hold it together for you. Like when that goose wouldn't leave us alone at brunch.
Sheldon: That thing scared you, too?
Amy: Well, of course it did. I was wearing a down jacket.

Bernadette: You don't have to be snarky.
Denise: Hey, do you want to play the game, or do you want to crawl back up your mommy's shirt and chow down like a baby?
Bernadette: Damn, what is wrong with you?
Denise: I'm sorry, I thought you wanted to beat your husband.
Bernadette: I do.
Denise: Well, then suck it up!

Leonard: It's just Penny hit me with some pretty big news and it's a lot to process.
Sheldon: And you'd like to do that quietly. I respect that.
Leonard: She said she doesn't want to have kids.
Sheldon: Maybe she didn't mean it, like when you said you didn't want to talk about this.
Leonard: Forget it.
Sheldon: Do you want to have children?
Leonard: Well, I always assumed we would and now I find out, you know, I might be the last of the Hofstadter line.
Sheldon: Doesn't your brother have children? And your sister. She kept the Hofstadter name and has five healthy boys: Neil, Jeffrey, Scott, William and baby Richard.
Leonard: I'm going back to being quiet.
Sheldon: Sweet.

Sheldon: This is a nightmare.
Penny: What's with him?
Leonard: He won a Nobel Prize, and his wife looks amazing.
Penny: Oh. Yeah, got it.

Penny: Is everything okay?
Leonard: No, I found a paper that proves their theory wrong. They thought this was gonna be their Nobel Prize. It's gonna break his heart.
Penny: Oh, man. Maybe leave an anonymous note, you know, like in high school, when you want to let your best friend know that her boyfriend's cheating on her.
Leonard: Why wouldn't you just tell her that?
Penny: I don't know. Maybe you had a hickey.
Leonard: Isn't it better to get bad news from a friend?
Penny: Trust me, it's not. I went to prom with a hickey and a black eye.

Wyatt: You two might want to talk louder or quieter.
Penny: In high school, he could hear me open a can of beer in my closet under a blanket.

Bernadette: Which brings up an interesting question. You and Stuart. Why?
Denise: I don't know. My parents owned a funeral home. Read into that what you will.

Penny: This is between me and Leonard.
Amy: Screw Leonard! We were supposed to get pregnant together. We were gonna be barf buddies. We were supposed to massage each other's perineums with vitamin E.
Penny: I'm about to be your barf buddy right now.

Penny: Hey, ready for lunch?
Bernadette: Hang on.
Penny: Really, video games? Is this some sort of Freaky Friday thing where you're actually Howard?
Bernadette: Please, if I were Howard, I'd be doing this. [looks down at her breasts] You know what? He's not wrong.

Anu: I guess if we're going forward with this wedding, we should talk about the next steps.
Raj: Oh, like themes and flowers?
Anu: Actually, finances and taxes.
Raj: Oh. We can't use that. That was the theme of my parents' divorce.

Bernadette: What you playing?
Howard: Fortnite. A bunch of people parachute onto an island and fight it out to be the last man standing.
Bernadette: Like Hunger Games?
Raj: More like Bachelor in Paradise, but not as cutthroat.

Amy: I guess we should go and let Howard get them ready for bed.
Sheldon: Yeah. Do you think he'd let us come back and do some more?
Amy: Maybe we could take them to the park.
Sheldon: Smart. There'll be more babies. It's a bigger sample size.

Howard: This one's how you move, this is how you shoot. "A" jumps, "B" puts you into build mode.
Raj: And depending on what you want to build, you can use LB, RB, LT, or RT.
Bernadette: Just put me in, I'll figure it out.
Howard: Oh, sounds like me on our honeymoon.
Raj: Okay, you're skydiving down. You're almost to the ground. Now, when you land, you're gonna want- (gunfire) Okay, you're dead.
Bernadette: Wait, that's it? That wasn't fun at all.
Howard: Oh, now it sounds like you on our honeymoon.

Bernadette: Hi, Stuart, just checking in. Seeing if everything's okay.
Stuart: Oh, yeah, we're having fun. Me, Halley and Denise played hide-and-seek all day.
Howard: Oh, that's nice.
Stuart: Yeah. I found Denise right away.
Bernadette: Where was Halley hiding?
Stuart: Uh, the important thing is she's not there now.

Penny: Listen, when you have kids, I'm still gonna be there. I'm gonna be their fun Aunt Penny who gives them candy, and teaches them swear words and tells them stories about what a weirdo their mother is.
Amy: I guess I could live with that. What is gonna be hard is letting go of the dream of us breastfeeding each other's babies.
Penny: And it's gonna be hard to forget you said that.