Sheldon: Guys, guys, Wil Wheaton hosts a secret celebrity D&D game.
Leonard: How do you know?
Raj: Who was there?
Amy: Why are you damp?
Sheldon: I was trying to peek in Wil's window, and he turned the sprinklers on.
Howard: Oh, that means they must be really famous.

Raj: I wonder who else is playing.
Leonard: I bet we can use graph theory to determine who Wil knows and who is likely to play D&D.
Howard: Yes.
Leonard: Okay, obviously he's connected to the whole Next Gen cast-
Penny: So this is the rest of our night, huh?
Amy: Oh, no, this is the rest of our lives.

Howard: William Shatner, Kevin Smith. Who else could be there?
Leonard: Do you see what I see over his shoulder?
Howard: Is that a ghost?
Raj: I think it's Stuart.
Sheldon: That is Stuart. What-What's he doing there?
Raj: Maybe he died in Wil's house and he can't leave until he solves his own murder.

Leonard: Why would Wil invite Stuart and not us?
Bernadette: I know the answer.
Penny: Yeah. We all know the answer.

Stuart: Hey, guys.
Howard: You're home late.
Stuart: Uh, yeah. I had a crazy night. I went to the pharmacy. I like to be there when the new decongestants drop.

Raj: Cut the crap. We know where you were. We know what you were doing.
Stuart: Yeah, I just told you. I was at CVS breathing my ass off.
Sheldon: Oh, you were breathing, all right. You were breathing the rarefied air of celebrities.
Stuart: I don't know what you're talking about.
Raj: Then why are you trembling?
Stuart: I'm always trembling.

Leonard: We know you were at Wil's D&D game. We saw you on Instagram. We just want to know how you got invited.
Stuart: I can't talk about it or they won't invite me back next week.
Leonard: So there's another game next week.
Stuart: I didn't mean to say that.
Howard: Who's in it?
Stuart: I can't tell you!
Raj: How do we get invited?
Stuart: I don't know!
Sheldon: How many hit dice are they playing the wereboar as having?
Stuart: 12d8 + 24. I mean, I don't know!

Wil Wheaton: Hey, Stuart.
Stuart: I don't want to play anymore. It's too much pressure.
Wil Wheaton: Why, what happened?
Stuart: I've-I've said too much.
Wil Wheaton: You haven't said anything.
Stuart: Not to you, to them.
Wil Wheaton: Who's them?
Stuart: Ah! Now I have said too much!

Raj: But y-you blocked your number, right?
Howard: Relax, this is not my first creepy phone call. It's like riding a bike ... slowly past a girl's house.

Wil Wheaton: Hello.
Howard: [imitating Shatner] Wil, Bill Shatner here.
Wil Wheaton: Is this Howard?
Howard: Of course not. It- It's Shatner. If you don't believe me, ask my good friend, Christopher Walken. [imitating Walken] Hello, Bill and I are just hanging out at The Polo Lounge.
Raj: Mr. Shatner, Mr. Walken, here are your martinis. [glass dings]
Howard: [whispering in normal voice] What are you doing?
Raj: I'm filling out the world.
Howard: You're ruining it.
Wil Wheaton: No, he's not.
Raj: Thanks, Wil.

Raj: Look, we know Leonard is out. You need to fill a seat. It should be one of us.
Leonard: Or give me another chance. I think me and Joe Manganiello were really hitting it off.
Howard: Joe Manganiello was there?
Raj: From Magic Mike?

Leonard: You're right, that was really crappy of us.
Howard: Yeah, I guess we just got caught up in the excitement.
Raj: We're sorry, Wil. We do like you for you.
Sheldon: And if it makes you feel any better, I don't even really consider you a celebrity.
[Wil closes his front door]
Sheldon: Should we go or do you want to wait for the sprinklers?

Wil Wheaton: No. All of you. You're just trying to use me to get close to my famous friends. Do you know how that makes me feel?
Howard: Flattered?
Wil Wheaton: Used.
Sheldon: I was gonna guess that.
Wil Wheaton: One of the worst things about being a celebrity is you never know if people like you for you. Well, thanks for letting me know.

Wil Wheaton: You guys suck.
Sheldon: Agreed. You guys suck. Let's go, Wil.

Leonard: We should invite him to come play with us.
Sheldon: Ask him to bring some chips because we're all out.
Leonard: Hey, Wil, this is Leonard.
Sheldon: Make it Bugles. No, no, no, no, no, pretzel sticks. No, no, no, Bugles.