Penny: Someone's making decisions.
Leonard: I'm reviewing these proposals.
Penny: Yeah. 'Cause you're the boss man, telling people what's what. I like it.
Leonard: (whining) It's just so hard! All-all three of these proposals have merit. How do I choose?
Penny: Well, not with that voice.

Leonard: Tam Nguyen?
Tam: Yes. Is my son done with his tour?
Howard: No idea. We're actually friends of Sheldon Cooper.
Tam: Oh, I've been trying to get in touch with him, but I never heard back. Is he okay?
Leonard: Well, if you mean physically, yes.
Howard: If you mean every other way, no.

Sheldon: It's called Lethal Weapon, but isn't that redundant? Aren't weapons, by their very nature, lethal?
Mr. Fowler: I suppose you're right.
Sheldon: Yeah, and don't even get me started on Unsolved Mysteries.
Mr. Fowler: I didn't get you started on Lethal Weapon.

Anu: If it makes you feel any better, I've got things I'm embarrassed about, too.
Raj: Really? Will you tell me one?
Anu: Okay. Um, ugh. I hate telling people this. I don't like music.
Raj: What kind of music?
Anu: Just all of it. It sort of seems like a waste of time.
Raj: Even Beyonce?
Anu: See, this is why I don't tell people.
Raj: No. Um, it's fine. It's just, have you heard "Single Ladies"?
Anu: Yeah, and I don't get it. I mean, the lyrics are "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh."
Raj: You have to sing it in the voice of a goddess. Like: Oh, wa-ah, oh Wa-ah, oh Oh, oh, oh Wa-ah, oh. (laughs)
Anu: My point is, we both have our little eccentricities.
Raj: Little eccentricities? One is a deep-seated psychological disturbance, and the other can be solved by half a glass of chardonnay.

Raj: Okay, you wanted the truth, here it is.
Anu: You have a drinking problem.
Raj: No. I, uh, I have a talking problem, and a drinking solution.

Sheldon: Excuse me, Turnip, we need to get going.
Mr. Fowler: But-but Howard was gonna show me some close-up magic.
Sheldon: Well, if you want to see real magic, I'll take you to Union Station, home to trains, subways and buses that, every half hour - voilà - drive to the airport.

Penny: How did it go?
Leonard: Great.
Penny: What, so you got the job?
Leonard: I did not.
Penny: So you quit? Okay, Leonard, I can't move. I just bought a six-month membership to SoulCycle.

Anu: Sorry, I had to use the facilities. With a bottle of champagne?
Raj: Mm, I like to celebrate the little things in life. You need to go? There's still some left.
Anu: Raj, what is going on?
Raj: No, no, it's not what's going on, it's what's comin' off.
Anu: Stop it. You're acting weird, and it's freaking me out.
Raj: Why? Because I couldn't talk and ran in the bathroom to slug back a bottle of champagne when I pretended to pee?

Leonard: Well, I-I didn't quit. I said I was going to. I walked out the door and started crying. You know, "Oh, my, God, oh, my God, oh, my God, what'd I do?" And then he called me back in.
Penny: Then he changed his mind?
Leonard: He did not.
Penny: I'm really confused about how to react to this story.
Leonard: President Siebert didn't want to lose me. Even though they couldn't make me a lead investigator on a plasma team, there was an opening for a co-lead on a photon entanglement team. How cool is that?
Penny: You're gonna have to tell me.
Leonard: It's really cool.
Penny: Yay! Oh, I am so happy for you.
Leonard: I almost got what I wanted, and it never would have happened if you hadn't almost believed in me.

Penny: Let's celebrate. What do you want to do?
Leonard: Oh, please don't make me decide another thing.
Penny: Hey, you want to go to SoulCycle with me?
Leonard: Give me a minute, I'll think of something.

Penny: Raj, it's gonna be okay. Look, sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship.
My first time with Leonard was nothing to write home about.
Raj: Really?
Penny: Yeah, but, you know, over time it got better.
Raj: So practice makes perfect?
Penny: Well, practice makes better.

Sheldon: Now, I know what You're you're thinking: isn't Broccoli Hulk basically just the Jolly Green Giant?
Amy: That is what I was thinking. Let's never discuss it again.

Amy: Really? Are you hiding from Penny again?
Leonard: No. No, no, no. I-I went to SoulCycle with her, and my legs hurt so bad, I literally can't stand up.
Amy: Sheldon, why don't you keep him company.
Sheldon: All right.Hello, Leonard.
Leonard: Hey.
Sheldon: Have you ever wondered what the Hulk would be like if he were made of sherbet?
Leonard: I give up.
Sheldon: Delicious.

Amy: So, obviously, I'm really sorry about my outburst. Calling you frauds was unacceptable. I feel terrible about it.
Sheldon: It has caused her a lot of stress. She chewed through her night guard like it was a piece of jerky.

Dr. Pemberton: The point is we should take it as a compliment that even you guys think we will win the Nobel Prize.
Amy: Uh, no, we-we certainly do not think that.
Sheldon: The Nobel Committee will realize that we came up with this theory.
Dr. Campbell: But we proved it.
Amy: By accident.
Dr. Pemberton: All breakthroughs happen by accident.
Amy: No, they don't!