Howard: We spent half the day down at the city planning office, and didn't solve a thing.
Bernadette: Now we have to go back tomorrow.
Sheldon: The planning office? You lucky ducks.

Bernadette: Sheldon, if you like this stuff, why don't you come and do it with us?
Howard: Or instead of us?
Sheldon: [gasps] Do you mean it? No, no, wait, it's too late. You can't take it back.

Sheldon: Is one of the forms the 599B/C? Because, if so, it has a doozy of a typo.
Howard: I don't know.
Sheldon: All right, well, I don't want to spoil anything, but you might want to start practicing your "siglature."

Stuart: Yeah, this one made me go for ice cream and talk about her day. Spoiler alert: it was fine.
Amy: It wasn't fine. I got trapped in an elevator.
Sheldon: I may have missed a few details. The bottom of my cone was drippy.

Sheldon: Purell. Purell. Purell. Purell. Can I top anybody off?

Penny: Well, Amy, looks like the elevator might have been the high point of your day.

[Leonard sneezes]
Stuart: You okay?
Leonard: Yeah.
Stuart: Great, 'cause you just bought that whole row of Batmans.
Leonard: Sorry, I [sneeze]
Stuart: And now you bought Aquaman. Good choice.

Leonard: Just seems dumb to not use the laser.
Stuart: Not as dumb as unleashing a plague on mankind, but, hey, what do we know?
Leonard: Literally nothing.

Raj: Calm down, Stuart. You're being a little crazy.
Denise: Oh, is he? Is he being crazy? Or is he the only one around here who's making any sense?
Raj: It's nice they found each other.

Stuart: Whoa, whoa. You're not gonna cut open a meteor, are you? Have you not learned anything from comic books? Space viruses? Pod people? I sell nothing but warnings.

Denise: If you want cold medicine, Stuart has the entire run of DayQuils, including the rare "DayQuilt" misprint from 1996.
Stuart: What can I say? I'm a collector.

Howard: So, is there anything we can do?
Nathan: Absolutely. Do you know if they have permits for the balcony?
Bernadette: Oh, no. We were hoping you could check.
Nathan: I certainly can. I just need you to fill out a form, and we have them available in Armenian, Chinese, Cambodian, English, Farsi, Korean, Spanish and Vietnamese.
Howard: Well, English, obviously.
Nathan: Well, we're not allowed to presume. That was a whole other meeting.

Nathan: Now, how can I help you?
Bernadette: Our neighbor built a balcony that looks right into our backyard, and we're trying to see if there's anything we can do about it.
Nathan: Well, you have come to the right place. You know, a lot of people handle this type of thing online, but I always say nothing beats the human touch. Oh, but don't worry. I'm not gonna actually touch you. We had quite the informative meeting on that.
Bernadette: We just want a little privacy in our backyard.
Howard: You know, for (clicks tongue)... Maybe we should've done this online.

Bernadette: So we just fill out the form and that's it?
Nathan: Oh, no. No, you need to fill it out, and then you need to bring it down to the Office of Code Compliance. Now, if your neighbors don't have a permit, you can file an official complaint, but if they do have a permit, then you have to make the case that the balcony constitutes a nuisance, an encumbrance or an encroachment, and you have to decide which, because they are three totally separate forms.
Howard: This is starting to seem like more trouble than it's worth.
Nathan: I know, right?

Howard: And his new balcony looks right down on our hot tub, which meant we couldn't do anything.
Raj: So you gave your kids Benadryl for nothing?
Howard: Why do I share with you? You're such a yenta.