Marissa: And Zack's always talked about what a great guy Leonard is.
Leonard: I (chuckles) I really don't know what to say.
Penny: Really? You don't know what to say?

Raj: I make one mistake, and she says she doesn't want to marry me. Like she never screwed up.
Bernadette: Did she?
Raj: Well, she agreed to marry me.

Howard: Honestly, I think you dodged a bullet. I don't think she was right for you.
Bernadette: Howie, shh.
Howard: What?
Bernadette: You can't bad-mouth Anu. They're gonna get back together, and you're gonna look like a jerk. I mean, remember when we broke up, and Penny said all those mean things about you?
Howard: What did she say?
Bernadette: I don't want to get into it. Some of it was hurtful, most of it was true.

Howard: So I'm just supposed to lie to my friend?
Raj: I don't want you to lie to me.
Bernadette: No one's gonna lie to you. (whispers to Howard) Lie.

Raj: She says the only reason I'm marrying her is because all my friends are married, and I don't want to feel left out.
Howard: Oh, that's nonsense.
Raj: No. She's right.
Howard: (quietly to Bernadette) Now what do I say?

Leonard: Uh, do you remember Penny's ex-boyfriend Zack?
Sheldon: Leonard, I remember all of Penny's ex-boyfriends. If you'd like, I could list them alphabetically.
Leonard: No, thank you.
Sheldon: Fun fact. You would think Zack would be the last one on the list, but she also dated two Zekes.

Leonard: Well, apparently, Zack sold his company for a ton of money and retired.
Sheldon: And that bothers you?
Leonard: I don't know. I mean I guess so. Yeah. It doesn't seem fair. I work hard.
I'm really smart. I've made substantial contributions to my field. But Zack gets to be rich, while I'm still working for a paycheck?
Sheldon: Well, a lot of people you don't know are rich. That doesn't seem to bother you. Mark Zuckerberg, Sultan of Brunei, Gordon Letwin.
Leonard: Who's that?
Sheldon: He's one of the first 11 employees of Microsoft.
Leonard: Yeah, well, I don't have to hang out with Gordon Letwin.
Sheldon: Well, that's too bad. He helped create the HPFS file system. Oh, the stories he could tell.

Penny: How was game night?
Leonard: Oh, off the charts. Literally. Sheldon rolled a number so high, it wasn't on any of these charts.
Penny: (laughs) That's funny. Wow. I should not have driven home.

Leonard: How was ladies' night?
Penny: It was fun. Amy got drunk and kept telling us that Sheldon's chest is smooth like a porpoise.
Leonard: Well, it does squeak when you touch it.

Penny: And we ran into Zack.
Leonard: Oh. Yeah? How's he doing?
Penny: He got married.
Leonard: Oh. Well, that's nice.
Penny: Yeah, and he sold his company for a fortune and retired.
Leonard: Huh. And you ended up with me, so everybody wins.
Penny: Wait. You're not jealous of Zack, are you?
Leonard: What? Oh, absolutely not. In fact, he should be jealous of me because I have you. And a dungeon with over 30 rooms left unexplored because no one thought to search for secret doors under the wizard's throne.
Penny: Oh. You know, I'd like to go exploring.
Leonard: Really?
Penny: Mm-hmm.
Leonard: Well, I'll get the dice back out.

Anu: Go away, Raj! What are you doing?
Raj: I'm winning you back Love Actually style.
Anu: I don't know what that means.
Raj: Really? You've never seen Love Actually? If you want to watch it right now, I'll just wait.

Raj: Look, we both made mistakes. I am so sorry that I spied on you. I didn't mean to, but I know it was not okay. Now, do you want to apologize to me?
Anu: You also said you don't trust me and that you barely know me.
Raj: I really thought this would be more of a back-and-forth thing.

Anu: Honestly, Raj, why do you even want to marry me?
Raj: You know, family and India and stuff.
Anu: Here's what I think. All of your friends are married, and you don't want to be left behind. And honestly, that's not a good enough reason.
Raj: Uh, okay, well, how is that different than what you're doing? Hmm? Worried that you wasted so many years dating the wrong people, and now, you're just looking for a shortcut.
Anu: You're right. It's not different.
Raj: Okay, so we agree.
Anu: Yeah.
Raj: Great. Wait. What did we just agree on?
Anu: That we shouldn't see each other anymore.
Raj: You know what? Why don't you shut the door, and I'll just do the cards?

Greg: I have a bottle of champagne for you.
Bernadette: Oh, we didn't order this.
Greg: It's from the gentleman at the end of the bar.
Amy: Oh. Well, if we drink it, does that mean we're making a promise? 'Cause I am happily married, although I will watch.

Penny: We're not gonna do anything.
Bernadette: Really? So all that work's for Leonard?