Bernadette: So, Penny, we were talking to our neighbors, and they're thinking of moving and selling their house.
Penny: Really? Why?
Howard: Something about babies crying and keeping them up all night; it's not important. You guys should totally take a look at it.

Howard: How are you two married?
Leonard: You were there. I wore her down.
Penny: He did.

Raj: You guys should've talked about all this stuff while you were dating. I mean, me and Anu already know so much about each other.
Bernadette: Wait, I forget, is Anu your waxer?
Raj: Uh, no, that's Annette. Anu is the woman my father fixed me up with. We're going on our first date tomorrow. Which reminds me, I need to see Annette.

Bernadette: How do you feel about this?
Howard: That she can clearly do better, but that's not for me to say.

Leonard: How do you feel about children?
Penny: Um, they're okay, I guess. I mean, if I saw one, I wouldn't throw a rock at it.
Leonard: Why would you throw a rock at a child?
Penny: (chuckles) I just said I wouldn't.

Anu: Excuse me. Can we please get sparkling instead of tap, some clean silverware and find out what they're having? That looks delicious.
Waiter: Yes, ma'am.
Anu: Thank you. So, you're an astrophysicist?
Raj: Yes, ma'am. I-I mean, uh, just yes. U-Unless you prefer "ma'am."
Anu: I don't.
Raj: Good, because you don't seem like a ma'am. You seem more like a sweet thang.
Anu: Wow. You are not good at this.

Bernadette: The same thing happened to me. Penny said she didn't want kids, and I told her she was being silly, and she accused me of being condescending. Which is crazy, because if I wanted to be condescending, I would've said, "Ooh, 'condescending.' That's such a big word."

Howard: Why won't our friends just listen to us? We obviously know what we're talking about.
Bernadette: I know. We're married, we have great kids, great jobs, this great house. ["Smooth Operator" starts playing in Stuart's room again]

Penny: Hey, Leonard, remember yesterday when we were talking about having kids someday? Yeah? Well, what if it wasn't someday.
Leonard: Oh, my God. Oh, my God, are you pregnant?
Penny: No. No. No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Leonard: So?
Penny: No.

Howard: Hey. Mind if I sit?
Raj: Did you just come here to tell me I'm making a gigantic mistake by having this blueberry muffin and I should've got a cinnamon roll like you did?
Howard: No.
Raj: Good, 'cause I'm happy with my choice. Although that cinnamon roll does smell good if you're open to halfsies.

Bernadette: Hey, Howard.
Howard: Yeah?
Bernadette: It looks like you could crack a walnut in those glutes.
Howard: I can't. I tried.

Penny: Hey.
Leonard: Hey.
Penny: I made you dinner. Your favorite: In-N-Out Burger out of the wrapper on a plate.

Anu: I told my parents our first date went well and they got very excited.
Raj: Oh, tell me about it. My parents were so thrilled, they actually spoke to each other. So that was a disaster.

Leonard: Are you gonna tell me where we're going? Because if it has the words "farmers" or "market" in it, I don't want to go.

Penny: You were talking about all the things you thought you would never have, so I thought I would get you one.
Leonard: Oh, my God. You bought me the Batmobile?!
Penny: No. No. No, no, no, no, no. I rented you the Batmobile for the day.
Leonard: This is amazing. Thank you.
Penny: Be careful. I did not get the insurance.