Amy: Oh. You got an e-mail from someone named Tam.
Sheldon: Tam? What does he want?
Amy: Uh, looks like he's coming to give his son a tour of Caltech. He's hoping you guys can meet up.
Sheldon: (scoffs) He would like that, wouldn't he?
Amy: Well, that is the gist of the e-mail.

Bernadette: So, are you actually engaged to this woman you just met?
Raj: Yeah.
Penny: Tell us the truth. Did she get you pregnant?

Penny: Hi. We're Raj's friends. I'm Penny. This is Bernadette. We just came by to introduce ourselves.
Anu: So you came to check me out?
Penny: She's smart. I like her.

Penny: We just want to see if we could take you to dinner and get to know you a bit.
Anu: That sounds nice. How about tonight after work? Maybe we can go to Bavel.
Penny: Oh, I wish. That place is impossible to get into.
Anu: Oh, please. Getting into impossible places is my superpower.
Bernadette: Me, too. I can fit my whole body in our dryer.

Leonard: What is going on with you?
Sheldon: I don't want to talk about it.
Leonard: Well, I'm sure you have a perfectly stupid reason.
Sheldon: I don't do anything for a stupid reason. Except, perhaps, Talk Like a Pirate Day, and I'd argue that's more whimsical than stupid.

Leonard: Be careful, Sheldon. I don't think you can afford to lose a second best friend.
I don't see anyone lining up to be your third.
Sheldon: D- Wait. [typing] "Snarky comebacks" Oh, here we go. "You have your entire life to be a jerk, why not take today off?" That was harsh, but he was asking for it.

Anu: So, what do you want to know?
Bernadette: Well, you seem like a smart, successful woman, why would you want to marry someone you just met?
Anu: Fair question. In my 20s, I tried this the normal way. You know, met a guy, fell in love, we moved in together. I put him through culinary school, screenwriting classes, and finally dumped him when he wanted to become a midwife. Then I realized, my parents are happy; they had an arranged marriage. Why am I fighting this?

Bernadette: So what is the craziest request anyone's ever made?
Anu: Oh, you know, I can't really say. Concierge-guest confidentiality.
Penny: Really, that's a thing?
Anu: (laughs) No. This one time, I had to go to Walmart at 3:00 a.m. because Britney Spears needed to blow bubbles.
Bernadette: Oh. That is so cool. By the way, do not tell Raj that you met Britney Spears, because he will literally die.

Anu: We've been talking so much about me, tell me about Raj.
Penny: Okay, are you trying to get us drunk so we'll dish on our friend?
Bernadette: 'Cause it's totally gonna work, what do you want to know?

Penny: He also cries every time Hugh Jackman sings.
Bernadette: But not cute sniffles, full-on snot sobs.
Penny: But he is great.
Bernadette: So great.
Penny: Yeah.

Tam: Sheldon, I needed to stay in Texas. And you needed to come here. I knew you were gonna do amazing things, and meet amazing people who were gonna respect you, because you're brilliant. And because they never had to fish you out of a dumpster.
Sheldon: Well, they have, but it was during my short-lived parkour phase.

Leonard: Sounds like Penny and Bernadette had fun last night.
Howard: I know. Bernie came home pretty drunk. She tried to sleep in the dryer.

Penny: Ugh, God, now I feel bad.
Bernadette: I know. Maybe we should take her out again and do some damage control.
Penny: You know, that's a good idea. Think she can get us into SoHo House?
Bernadette: I don't know, but we owe it to Raj to try.

Howard: Do I look like I just woke up?
Leonard: No.
Howard: Great. I'm gonna go say hey to Raj.

Leonard: What were you guys giggling about?
Penny: They were passing notes to each other.
Leonard: Oh-ho, love notes?
Penny: If you love math.
Sheldon: And we do.
Amy: It's for our super-asymmetry theory.
Sheldon: Yeah, Amy and I have been having so much fun collaborating together.
Penny: Well, you know what they say, you never collaborate as much as your first year of marriage.