Howard: Anyway, if you guys could apologize, it'd be a big help.
Amy: Oh, we'd be happy to apologize to her as soon as she apologizes to me for not making you apologize to Sheldon.
Howard: I didn't follow that, but, then, between my wife and that guacamole, I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.

Amy: Don't you think it's unreasonable for her to ask us to do something she refused to do?
Howard: Yes. So when can you stop by?

Sheldon: I don't understand. If it's unreasonable, why should we do it?
Howard: Okay, how about this? You know in Star Wars when R2 and Chewbacca were playing holochess?
Amy: Really? Star Wars?
Sheldon: Amy, let the man speak.

Howard: Well, Chewbacca was losing and getting angry and-
Sheldon: W-W-Wait. Are you saying we should let the Wookiee win?
Howard: Hey. Hey, that's my wife you're talking about. (whispers) But yes, let the Wookiee win.

Sheldon: Hello, Bernadette.
Bernadette: Wait, did you just walk into my house?
Sheldon: No, Howard let me in.
Bernadette: Where is he?
Sheldon: Oh, he got in his car and drove away.

Sheldon: Oh. Is that watermelon for anybody?
Bernadette: It's for Halley.
Sheldon: Is she gonna eat all of it? God, no wonder she looks like Churchill.

Bernadette: What do you want, Sheldon?
Sheldon: Howard said your feelings were hurt.
Bernadette: Well, Howard's wrong. I don't care if someone makes fun of me.
Sheldon: All right. Apparently I came all this way for nothing. Unless Halley wants to share that watermelon?

Bernadette: You think Amy's the first person to make fun of me for having a squeaky voice? Do you?
Sheldon: I feel like my chance at watermelon is dangling by a thread.

Bernadette: She's not. It's been happening my whole life. And-and she called me out for being mean? Well, I've had to be mean. It's hard to be taken seriously when you're always the smallest person in the room.
Sheldon: I know that. I was in high school when I was nine years old. I tried to tell the other kids that although my physical stature was small, my intellectual stature towered over them. That only seemed to make things worse.

Bernadette: The kids called me Bernadette the marionette.
Sheldon: (laughs) Because you're small. That's funny.
Bernadette: No, it's not.

Sheldon: Well, people used to call me egghead 'cause there were eggs on my head. 'Cause they threw them at me.

Bernadette: One time my brothers made me breathe helium. I tried to call for help, but the only one who could hear me was the dog.
Sheldon: That's also terrible. My goodness, you had to live in a house with a dog.

Bernadette: I guess we both had to put up with a lot of crap from people.
Sheldon: I suppose we have. Huh. Maybe you and I are more alike than we thought.
Bernadette: Maybe we are.
Sheldon: Although I'm exceptionally tall, and you're exceptionally-
Bernadette: Sheldon.
Sheldon: You didn't even let me finish.
Bernadette: Fine. Sorry.
Sheldon: Short.

Raj: Sheldon, you sure you're ready for this? This movie's pretty scary.
Sheldon: Please. I'm an adult. I think I can handle it.
Leonard: That's what you said about the butterfly pavilion at the zoo.
Sheldon: That was my fault. After I pet that goat, I felt like a gladiator.

Amy: What do you guys think you're doing?
Raj: We're showing Sheldon Halloween.
Amy: Absolutely not. Sheldon, come home.
Sheldon: But I really want to watch it.
Amy: I know you do, but I am forbidding it.
Sheldon: Oh, man. Sorry, guys.
[in the hallway:]
Sheldon: What took you so long?
Amy: I'm sorry. I just got your text!