Howard: What do you say? We'll play some board games. It'll be like a party.
Leonard: Three guys playing a board game doesn't sound like much of a party.
Howard: [chuckles] Someone doesn't remember college very well.

Penny: As opposed to the leading nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory, our product greatly reduces the risk of ulcers. So it won't burn a hole in your stomach.
Bernadette: And it won't burn a hole in your wallet, either!
Penny: Thank you. I got this. It's a brand new day!

Bernadette: See? You're doing great.
Penny: Yeah. Mediocre actress, great drug pusher. Who knew?

Penny: Okay. Let's everyone calm down. If you can't find a pill for that here, then you're not trying hard enough.

Bernadette: I don't know what it is about that guy, but he just gets on my nerves.
Penny: Well, you scared the bad man away. Who's a good girl?

Howard: They're still asleep. Apparently, when I put someone down for a nap, they sleep hard.
Raj: That's a weird brag, Howard.

Leonard: I didn't think you were coming.
Sheldon: Um, I changed my mind. I thought it'd be fun to spend some time with your children. Where are the little scamps?
Howard: "Scamps"?
Sheldon: I'm sorry. Tykes. Rug rats. What is the PC term these days?

Sheldon: We were in the bookstore, and I found this. "Experimenting with Babies: 50 Amazing Science Projects You Can Perform on Your Kid".
Raj: You can't experiment on his kids.
Sheldon: Yeah, you're not their father.
Howard: You can't experiment on my kids.
Sheldon: [sighs] Fine. Can I at least play a game with them? Perhaps "How Developed is Your Peripheral Vision"? [Leonard rolls his eyes] Mine's great. I saw that.

Raj: Hey, this one we can do with both Michael and Halley. It's called Grabby Hands.
Leonard: Wasn't that your nickname in high school?
Howard: No, it was Mama's Boy. But the joke was on them, because I love my mom.

Howard: Okay, you know what, when they wake up, we can try one or two of these.
Sheldon: [gasps] Yay! [loudly] I said, "Yay!"

Bernadette: Wow, we got a pretty good crowd here.
Penny: I know. But not as big as that booth. What's going on over there?
Bernadette: Yeah, that's Chantix. Ray Liotta's signing autographs until 2:00.

Penny: Hey, can I help you?
Kwame: Actually, I'm looking for the bathroom.
Penny: Ah, yes. It's right next to the laxative booth. Clever, right?

Danny: Is Dr. Rostenkowski around?
Penny: No, she stepped out for a call, although I wouldn't be surprised if she's in line to meet Ray Liotta.

Danny: Something tells me she's not crazy about me.
Penny: Yeah. Something tells me that, too, and it was her.

Danny: You've done a terrific job with Inflaminex. We're always on the lookout for great salespeople. I think we could make you happy.
Penny: Uh, thanks, but I'm pretty happy.
Karen: I could be more happy.
Penny: Tell it to your shrink, Karen.