Bernadette: Hey, Howie, everything okay?
Howard: Yeah, everything's great. I was just wondering if we had any large barbecue tongs.
Bernadette: Uh, bottom left drawer. Are you guys grilling?
Howard: Nope, just playing games with the kids.
Bernadette: Why do you need tongs?
Howard: Love you, too, bye.

Leonard: Hey, you guys want to make this more interesting?
Sheldon: By establishing a double-blind protocol so we have a foundation to publish? Yes.

Bernadette: So what did he want?
Penny: Nothing.
Karen: He offered her a job.
Bernadette: No one likes a tattletale, Karen. So, what's up, traitor?
Penny: Dammit, Karen.

Howard: Okay, you want to engage the babies.
Sheldon: The subjects.
Howard: The babies.
Sheldon: Fine. The babies. Baby-A and Baby-B.

Raj: Sheldon, he's a baby. That's not how you talk to him, okay? Just watch. [cutesy] Hey. Halley. [baby talk] Who's your favorite uncle?
Halley: [giggles] Unka Koo.
Sheldon: I got a dud, let's switch.
Amy: Keep trying. It's for science.

Sheldon: Michael, you're making me look bad. Interact with me. [gasps] He grabbed my finger. Oh, he's smiling. I'm doing it.

Howard: That's time.
Sheldon: Oh, really? Can we do one more?
Howard: I think these guys need to get some food.
Sheldon: By pushing a lever at the end of an obstacle course that we design?
Howard: No, by opening the door to a hangar and letting the airplane fly in.

Amy: Although, Sheldon, maybe it could be an experiment.
Sheldon: Are you suggesting we color-code their food so we can examine their diapers later?
Amy: Sure.
Sheldon: These diapers are gonna be full of data.

Bernadette: I can't believe you took his business card.
Penny: I can't believe we're still talking about this. He handed it to me. What was I supposed to do?
Bernadette: Hand it back to him and tell him to stick it where the sun don't shine.
Penny: You are not serious.
Bernadette: Serious as the hepatitis their cholesterol medication gave thousands of people.
Penny: Did it?
Bernadette: Maybe.

Bernadette: Don't be so naive. They're our number one competitor. They have a rival drug coming out with a name I wish we thought of. Forsootha. It's got "soothe" right in it. How did we miss that?

Bernadette: I can't believe this is how you thank me.
Penny: I thanked you by thanking you. And I sent you that fancy box of pears.
Bernadette: What am I supposed to do with 20 pears? Have a pear party?

Danny: Zangen's a fine company. They got a couple of good drugs, but we control 60% of the market. Hell, commissions on just our fungal creams will put you in a new Mercedes.
Penny: Danny. Danny, look at me. Does this face sell fungal creams? No. This face is cholesterol drugs and above.
Danny: Playing hard to get, huh?
Penny: [laughs] No one's ever accused me of that before.

Bernadette: Danny, you rat bastard.
Danny: What? I'm just making your friend an offer.
Penny: Yeah, he's writing it on a napkin like in the movies.

Bernadette: That's not an offer. Do you know how amazing this girl is?
Penny: Aw. You think I'm amazing?
Bernadette: Stay out of this.

Bernadette: Not only is she a helluva salesperson, she's the hardest worker I've ever seen.
Danny: I know, that's why I'm trying to steal her from you.
Bernadette: Well, then you're gonna have to do a lot better than this, because I promise you, I'm not gonna let her go without a fight.
Penny: You do not want that, she's a biter.