Penny: Can I just see what he wrote on the napkin?
Bernadette: What napkin?

Amy: That's a lot of babies, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Oh, only for humans. For frogs, it's just a drop in the bucket.
Amy: Well, I'm sorry I'm not a frog.
Sheldon: Oh, don't feel bad, Amy. You're good enough for me.

Amy: I hate to say it, Sheldon, but I think the audience likes them.
Sheldon: Well, that will all change when Ellen asks them how super-asymmetry explains the cosmological excess of matter over anti-matter and they panic, like Leonard trying to do a pull-up.
Leonard: Hey, what'd I do?
Penny: Not a pull-up.

Sheldon: I want you to hold a press conference where you admit that you blindly stumbled into super-asymmetry and it was really our discovery.
Dr. Pemberton: Oh. No, thanks.

Dr. Pemberton: What's wrong?
Sheldon: I'll tell you what's wrong. You went on TV and were charming.
Dr. Campbell: Thanks, man. That's what my mom said.

Dr. Campbell: You know, just because we proved something by accident doesn't mean we didn't prove it.
Dr. Pemberton: Yeah, I wasn't trying to prove that my wife was cheating on me when I came home early one Friday, but I'm still sleeping on his couch.
Dr. Campbell: I told you, you can do better than her.
Dr. Pemberton: Thanks. It just hurts.
Dr. Campbell: And when you win that Nobel Prize, she's gonna realize that she was wrong, you are not a fraud.
Sheldon: She is not wrong.
Dr. Campbell: Wow, I can't believe you're siding with Linda.
Dr. Pemberton: Shame on you.

Howard: Kids asleep?
Bernadette: Nope. I've been trying to get them down for hours. Apparently, Halley's afraid of the dark now and I can't turn on the night-light 'cause it makes Michael cry.
Howard: Why doesn't he like the night-light?
Bernadette: Jot that down, we can ask him as soon as he learns to speak. We can also find out what's so damn funny about birds.

Amy: Uh, George Smoot's on here.
Sheldon: [hisses] Ugh. We have a history.
Amy: Saul Perlmutter?
Sheldon: Oh!
Amy: What about Kip Thorne?
Sheldon: Well, now that was a misunderstanding. I didn't know he was right behind me.

Amy: So you've alienated everyone we need to help us?
Sheldon: Well, Amy, if I had known that someday we'd need them, I would never have insulted them.
Amy: Well, that doesn't make it better.
Sheldon: Oh. Well, it's also not true.

Penny: Someone texting you?
Leonard: Uh, no, I just met my exercise goal for the day.
Penny: By doing the dishes?
Leonard: Hey, you have your goals, I have mine.
Sheldon: Hello.
Amy: What are you two doing?
Leonard: Mm, just finishing a workout.

Amy: Do you have any cookie dough?
Penny: Uh, I think so. Let me see. Yeah, we've got, uh, chocolate chip and oatmeal raisin.
Sheldon: Oatmeal raisin? I know at least two things wrong with that cookie.

Bernadette: I heard you tell Halley that story the other night, and I thought it was so sweet that Stuart and I turned it into a book.
Howard: The Frightened Little Astronaut?
Raj: That looks just like you. Look how tiny and scared you look.

Bernadette: And the best part is, Stuart showed it to a publisher friend of his, and they're interested in it.
Raj: That is so cool.
Howard: Absolutely not.
Bernadette: Why?
Howard: Because I don't want the whole world to know I was the frightened little astronaut!
Raj: Maybe you should've called it The Bitchy Little Astronaut.

Sheldon: Well, it's true. The fact is, I feel really bad for Amy.
Leonard: Well, we all do. But just for fun, why do you?

Sheldon: Well, she didn't do anything wrong, but she's paying for my mistakes.
Leonard: Wow.
Sheldon: What?
Leonard: No. I'm just honestly impressed. When did you start caring about other people's feelings?
Sheldon: Well, I laughed when Amy got a shock from the broken Christmas tree lights, so it was after that.