Sheldon: See, sometimes I wish I could invent a time machine, so I could go back and prevent myself from acting so rashly.
Leonard: Or moving forward, you could think before you speak.
Sheldon: I suppose so.
Leonard: But the time machine thing is probably more likely.

Sheldon: My problem is that I don't always know when I've gone too far.
Leonard: Well, uh, if you like, I could try to help you out. You know, and maybe let you know if you're crossing a line.
Sheldon: Oh, you mean, like, with a code word?
Leonard: Sure. How's "shut up"?
Sheldon: That's perfect. People say it to me all the time, no one will suspect.

Stuart: Uh, Bernadette said you weren't crazy about the book.
Howard: No. It's great. I just don't want anyone to ever see it or read it or know it exists.

Stuart: But this could be really good for me, you know? Finally get my artwork published. And-and come on, it's a, it's a cute story.
Howard: Oh, easy for you to say. No one's gonna think you're a coward.
Stuart: Are you kidding? The other day in the comic book store, a balloon popped and I threw up.

Howard: Well, look, what if we made a few changes?
Stuart: Uh, sure, yes. What-what do you have in mind?
Howard: Well, nothing major. But see here on the cover, where it says "frightened little," what if, I don't know, it didn't say that?
Stuart: So, it would just be The Astronaut?
Howard: Yeah, you're right. That doesn't quite pop. What about The Brave Astronaut? See, that's got some zip to it!
Stuart: Okay.
Howard: And here on this page, where I'm crying. What if, instead, I'm punching a meteor into the sun with my bare fists?
Stuart: So you have superpowers?
Howard: I like the way you're thinking.

Leonard: Professor Thorne?
Kip Thorne: Dr. Hofstadter.
Leonard: Uh, you know my wife, Penny.
Kip Thorne: Sure. Hi.
Penny: Hi.
Leonard: Uh, we wanted to talk to you about Dr. Cooper. Now, before you say no-
Kip Thorne: No.
Leonard: Well, then, after you say no.
Kip Thorne: No.

Howard: So what do you think?
Bernadette: I think if you were in space without a shirt on, you'd die.
Howard: Oh. No, I am wearing a shirt. It's just skintight, so you can see my pecs.
Bernadette: When did you get pecs?
Howard: Yesterday, when I made Stuart add them.

Bernadette: I'm just a wife that is so proud of her husband, and doesn't think that he has anything to be embarrassed about.
Howard: Oh. You're sounding less and less Jewish.

Amy: Hey, we just heard that you're the ones who convinced the Nobel Laureates to come.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Penny: You are welcome.
Leonard: You guys deserve this.
Penny: Yeah, now get out of here, go talk to some smart people.
Leonard: Wait a minute.
Penny: Yeah, sorry. Sometimes I forget you're smart because you're so sexy.
Leonard: I can see that.

President Siebert: Dr. Cooper. Dr. Fowler. I was just telling Professor Arnold how you came up with super-asymmetry at your wedding.
Frances H. Arnold: It's a wonderful story.
Amy: Ha, it really is.
Sheldon: I wouldn't say it was the highlight of the wedding, because I've been told not to for reasons I don't fully understand.

Penny: Uh-oh. I haven't been to a lot of parties like this, but what does a physics rumble look like?
Leonard: Kind of like angry chickens. Hmm. Or-or-or-or like, uh, when-when puppets fight.

Amy: What are you doing?
Sheldon: If they stay, everyone will see that their grasp on super-asymmetry is tenuous at best.
Amy: Oh. That's clever.
Sheldon: Yeah, I don't just know the plurals of things, Amy.

Sheldon: Uh, Dr. Campbell and Pemberton, settle a bet for Dr. Fowler and me? We were just discussing, under what conditions the radiative corrections to super-asymmetry could cause time variation of alpha E.M.?
Amy: I say active galactic nuclei at cosmological distances show a part per million deviation. Dr. Cooper says this has been disproven recently with quasar observations.
Sheldon: What do you think?
Dr. Campbell: I agree with you.
Sheldon: Good answer.

Dr. Pemberton: Hey, uh, if we haven't said it before, we just want to say thank you.
Dr. Campbell: Yeah. We couldn't have proven super-asymmetry without you.
Sheldon: Wait-wait. You all heard them say it. They didn't do anything.
Leonard: Sheldon. Shut up.
Sheldon: Yeah-- Well, that's rude.
Leonard: No. Shut up.
Sheldon: Oh, the code word, thank you.

Howard: "Once upon a time, there was a little astronaut who was sitting in a rocket waiting to go to space. And while all the other astronauts laughed and joked, he stayed quiet, because he had a secret. He was scared. He had another secret, too. He was only pretending to be scared to trick the alien king."
Bernadette: Howie.
Howard: Fine. There was no alien. [chuckles] There was a bossy wife, though. We'll get to her later.