Amy: Look.
Sheldon: You got called into human resources?
Amy: I'm sure it's because I insulted Pemberton and Campbell in a room full of Nobel Laureates.
Sheldon: You did do that. It was awkward. People didn't know where to look.

Sheldon: [phone chimes] Oh! She wants to see me, too. All right, let's get our story straight: This is all your fault.

Ms. Davis: President Siebert, would you like to start?
President Siebert: [clears throat] This is all my fault. I assumed you knew the Nobel Prize was good and we wanted to win it, so that's on me.

Ms. Davis: Dr. Cooper?
Sheldon: You want me to shut my trap?
Ms. Davis: I do.

Raj: Well, does take me back.
Howard: Yeah, the two of us, cruising around town looking for women.
Raj: Looking and looking and looking. Remember that time one looked back and said hi?
Howard: Oh, yeah. We drove away so fast.

Raj: Hey, I forget, why did you sell the scooter?
Howard: I finally got my woman. Then my woman made me sell it.

Amy: So apparently, if we win, I'll be the fourth woman ever to win a Nobel in physics.
Penny: Wow, that's a big deal.
Amy: Yeah, tell me about it. This morning, I blew through my antiperspirant in, like, an hour.

Amy: Plus, Sheldon's freaking out 'cause we got in trouble.
Leonard: Well, I've got him distracted for a while.
Penny: Doesn't he know how to solve those?
Leonard: Normally, yes, but I switched the stickers around, so I don't even think it's possible to solve-
Sheldon: Solved it.
Leonard: What? No, you didn't.
Sheldon: Not the cube, but the puzzle of why I couldn't solve the cube. Solution: you switched stickers 2, 9, 32, and 51.
Penny: Really? This thing has numbers?
Sheldon: Anything has a number if you assign it a number, friend number four.
Leonard: Top five, not bad.

Sheldon: I'm sorry, but this is, it's hard for me.Usually I self-soothe by doing science, but now science reminds me of the Nobel Prize and the idea that we may not win one, and that makes me angry, which makes me want to self-soothe by doing science, and on and on and on.
Amy: So that's been my today.

Penny: Hey, how about a massage? No, the only person who touches me is my wife.
Amy: And even I have to let him smell my hand first.

Penny: Okay, well, what about Reiki? It's like massage but without touching.
Sheldon: Then what is it?
Penny: Well, I place my hands near your body and allow the universal energy field to manifest its healing powers. Okay, I know it sounds crazy, but it really works; ask Leonard.
Leonard: It really does.
Penny: Yeah.
Leonard: [mouths] No.

Howard: Are your eyes closed?
Raj: Yes. What is it? Show me.
Howard: Okay, open them.
Raj: You bought me a scooter?! No, I bought me a scooter!
Raj: Then why did you make me close my eyes?
Howard: I wanted to see the expression on your face when you saw how happy I was.

Raj: Wait, one second. Won't Bernadette be mad when she finds out?
Howard: She's not gonna. I'm keeping it here at the university.
Raj: Ah. My dad kept a secret at work, too, but it was his receptionist.

Howard: [engine starts] Check it out. [engine revving] That there, son, is 12 horses of "eye-talian" thunder.

Bebe: All right, are you ready?
Leonard: I'm not saying this is why we came, but can I close the lid on him?
Bebe: No. [Leonard tries to hand her money] No.